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  1. Member
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    #1

    Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    The production of coffee beans is a huge, profitable business, but, unfortunately, full-sun production is taking over the industry and bringing about a lot of damage. The change in how coffee is grown from shade-grown production to full-sun production endangers the very existence of certain animals and birds, and even disturbs the world’s ecological balance.

    On a local level, the damage of the forest required by full-sun fields affects the area’s birds and animals. The shade of the forest trees provides a home for birds and other species that depend on the tree’s flowers and fruits. Full-sun coffee growers destroy this forest home. As a result, many species are quickly dying out.

    On a more global level, the destruction of the rainforest for full-sun coffee fields also threatens human life. Medical research often makes use of the forests’ plant and animal life, and the destruction of such species could prevent researchers from finding cures for certain diseases. In addition, new coffee-growing techniques are poisoning the water locally, and eventually the world’s groundwater.

    Both locally and globally, the continued spread of full-sun coffee plantations could mean the destruction of the rainforest ecology. The loss of shade trees is already causing a slight change in the world’s climate, and studies show that loss of oxygen-giving trees also leads to air pollution and global warming. Moreover, the new growing techniques are contributing to acidic soil conditions.

    It is obvious that the way much coffee is grown affects many aspects of life, from the local environment to the global ecology. But consumers do have a choice. They can purchase shade-grown coffee whenever possible, although at a higher cost. The future health of the planet and mankind is surely worth more than an inexpensive cup of coffee.
    ********************************************

    The task is : Please summarise the article above in your own words, using between 40 and 80 words.

    The following is just my attempt at summarizing and I hope someone would proofread it and polish it. It serves as an example for my students to follow after I finish checking their summaries.

    ****************************
    Full-sun production of coffee, thought profitable, has caused plenty of bad influence both locally and globally. It reduces the forest, which lead to the destruction of species, destroying ecology balance, changing world’s climate, causing air pollution and global warming. It also makes a threat to human life for lack of cures for certain diseases. Besides, new planting methods do harm to the groundwater and soil. Therefore, for the generations to come customers should buy shade-grown coffee instead.

    ****************************

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    The above is not well written. I advise you to rethink/rewrite it from scratch.

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    #3

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    The above is not well written. I advise you to rethink/rewrite it from scratch.
    ************************************************** *******
    Full-sun production of coffee, though profitable, has made plenty of bad impact on some local animals and birds as well as the ecological system globally. It does much harm to the forest, which leads to the extinction of lots of species. It causes great damage to human life as well, as a result of lack of cures for certain diseases and drinking poisonous water this production has caused. Besides, increasing plantation of full-sun coffee affects our life in many other ways, such as changing world’s climate and causing air pollution and global warming. Therefore, for the sake of the generations to come, customers should buy shade-grown coffee instead if it is possible.

    ************************************************** *******
    Last edited by rodgers white; 24-Feb-2017 at 03:31.

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    #4

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    **********************************
    Today, full-sun production of coffee beans replaced the tradition shade-grown production. Although people can earn great profits by this way, the forest was destroyed and many local species lose their habitiat so that they may die out. What’s more, full-sun production does harm to the rainforest ecological system and pollutes the world’s ground water. In a word, the human’s future is more important than coffee.

    **********************************
    The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. Many thanks in advance.

    ***********************************

    Today, full-sun production of coffee beans have replaced the traditional shade-grown production. Although people can earn great profits by in this way, the forest was has been destroyed and many local species lose have lost their habitat. so that As a result, they may die out. What’s more, full-sun production does great harm to the rainforest ecological system and pollutes the world’s groundwater and more importantly, it risks human life because of air pollution and global warming this production has caused. In a word, we should buy shade-grown coffee if it is possible, and the reason is simple that the human’s future is more important than coffee.

    ***********************************
    Last edited by rodgers white; 24-Feb-2017 at 04:45.

  5. teechar's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    That's not really much better, but Ill try.
    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Full-sun production of coffee, though profitable, has made had plenty of bad detrimental impacts on people and the environment. Some local animals and birds have lost their habitat and some even face extinction due to forest clearing for that kind of coffee production. as well as the ecological system globally. It does much harm to the forest, which leads to the extinction of lots of species. It causes great damage to human life as well, as a result of lack of It has also led to the loss of forest plants which cold hold the cure for certain diseases, and as well as poisoning drinking poisonous local water. this production has caused. Besides, increasing plantation the expansion of full-sun coffee affects our life in many other ways, such as changing the world’s climate and causing air pollution and global warming. Therefore, for the sake of the generations to come, customers people should buy choose shade-grown coffee instead whenever they can. if it is possible.
    .

  6. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    **********************************
    Today, The full-sun production of coffee beans has largely replaced the traditional shade-grown production. Although people can earn great profits from by this method of production, way, the large tracts of forest was have been destroyed, and many local species have lost their habitat and so that they may die out. What’s more, full-sun production does harm to the rainforest's ecological system and pollutes the world’s ground water. In a word, the human’s our future and the environment are is more important than the price of a cup of coffee.

    **********************************
    The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. Many thanks in advance.

    ***********************************

    Today, full-sun production of coffee beans have has replaced the traditional shade-grown production. Although people can earn great profits by in this way, the forest was has been destroyed and many local species lose have lost their habitat. so that As a result, they may die out. What’s more, full-sun production does great harm to the rainforest's ecological system and pollutes the world’s groundwater, and more importantly, it risks impacts human life because of as it contributes to air pollution and global warming this production has caused. In a word, we should buy shade-grown coffee if it is possible , and the reason is simple that the human’s because our future is more important than coffee.

    ***********************************
    .

  7. Member
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    #7

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    It has also led to the loss of forest plants which cold hold the cure for certain diseases, and as well as poisoning drinking poisonous local water.
    My friend, teechar, you mean: It has also led to the loss of forest plants which could hold the cure for certain diseases, and as well as poisoning local drinking poisonous water. Am I right?

  8. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    It has also led to the loss of forest plants which could hold the cure for certain diseases, as well as poisoning local drinking water.
    That's what I meant.

  9. Member
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    #9

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    That's what I meant.
    Thank you for your hard work. By the way, the following:
    more importantly, it risksimpacts human life because of as it contributes to air pollution and global warming this production has caused. "

    You want to say:
    more importantly, it risksimpacts human life because of as it contributes to air pollution and global warming this production has caused.

    Is that so, teechar?

  10. teechar's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    Yes, I should have crossed that out too. In fact, I now regret touching that text. It was very messy and quite unsalvageable.

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