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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Smile ielts essay,many thanks for help correcting my essay

    thank you very much for help improving my writing. the essay is posted as below:

    Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.
    What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Normally parents are willing to buy plenty of playthings for their children. They believe that those toys play positive role in the lives of their offspring. That is ture to some extent, but it also brings some negative influence to youngsters.

    The children who have lots of toys are considered as luckily ones. Amusing toys usually simulate many positives in the young boys or girls. Thas is to say, well designed toys not only are joyfull when playing, but also could help children developing their hand-eye coordination, colour recognition and intelligence. Such as Lego Blocks, children could build aparments or bridges just by some simply while colourful blocks. They are able to have building concepts and sense of achievements just according playing.

    Although, too many playing staff may also lead to passive consequence. Firstly, rich parents could possibly spoil their boys or girls by giving them great quantity of toys. Childen who have less ability of controll are usually about to ask for more toys. If parents say yes for every asking, then their offspring are easily used to getting whatever they want, which is obvirously negative to children’s character. Moreover, children’s concentration could be easily interrupted if they are surrounded by lots of toys. They could not focus on one toy because theese is always a new one they want, which may result in concentration problem when growing up.

    To sum up, playthings have lots of merits for children’s developing. At the same time, they also potentially influence the youngster’s lives
    in negative way. Therefore, parents should carefully make choice on number and types of toys for their offspring.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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    #2

    Re: ielts essay,many thanks for help correcting my essay

    Hello dengnan83218, and welcome to the forum.

    Quote Originally Posted by dengnan83218 View Post
    Thank you very much for helping me improve ing my writing. the My essay is posted as below:

    Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.
    What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Normally parents are willing to buy plenty of playthings for their children. They believe that those toys play a positive role in the lives and development of their sons and daughters. offspring. That is true to some extent, but giving children a large amount of toys can also have its disadvantages. it also brings some negative influence to youngsters.

    The Children who have lots of toys are considered (as) lucky. ily ones. Amusing toys, and especially usually simulate many positives in the young boys or girls. Thas is to say, well-designed ones toys not only make children happy are joyfull when playing, but also could help children them develop ing their hand-eye coordination, colour recognition and intelligence. Using such toys as Lego blocks, children could learn to build things aparments or bridges just by some simply while putting together those colourful blocks. They are able to have get to learn the concept of building concepts and feel a sense of achievements at the same time. just according playing.

    Although, Nevertheless, having too many play items ing staff may also lead to passive negative consequences. Firstly, rich parents could possibly might end up spoiling their boys or girls children by giving them a great quantity of toys. Children who get lots of toys can become have less ability of difficult to control are usually about and just get used to asking for more and more toys. If parents say yes for every time their children ask for something, then the children ir offspring are easily get used to getting whatever they want, which is obviously not good for their negative to children’s character. Moreover, children’s concentration could be easily interrupted if they are surrounded by lots of toys. They could may not be able to remain not focused on one toy thing, because theese is always a new one they want, which may result in concentration problems when they grow up.

    To sum up, playthings have lots of merits for children. ’s developing. At the same time, they can also potentially have a negative influence on their the youngster’s lives.
    in negative way. Therefore, parents should carefully make the right choices on when it comes to the number and types of toys for their children. offspring.

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