[Essay] "Families are not as close as before". IELTS practice essay

Status
Not open for further replies.

dengnan83218

New member
Joined
Feb 25, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
Families are not as close as before. Give reasons for this change, and suggest some ways to bring families closer.

In the past, family was a significant concept in people’s minds, it was the center of people’s lives. nowadays, however, the relationship between family members is falling apart. But what are the factors contributeto this phenomenon, various people have deverse opinions. As far as i concerned, it results from the following reasons.

The first reason is that people spend more and more time on their work or study. Compared with the past, people face fierce competition and suffer from great pressure. Therefore, they have to devote more time and energy to their career. Some people are too occupied to spend time with their families,.What is more, some jobs require people to work in other cities, and some youngsters have to leave their parents at an early to study elsewhere. As time passes, those people become emotionally estranged from their family memebers.

Another reason is that there are more entertaining forms available. Nowadays high technology brings us more interesting activities which are easily attarct people’s attention, such as play video games, watching TV and surfing internet. As a concequence, people are indulged in those things with totally neglecting the feelings of their family members.

To bring family members closer, these are some suggestions may put forward. Firstly, never take office work back to home, and set a regular and enough time to spare with our family members, no matter how important the work is. Family always comes first. Secondly, people who study or work far away from their home may take advantage of modern technology to make phone calls or video chat with their relatives as much as possible. Last but not least, juveniles should be taught the sence of family when they are young.

To sum up, family is the basic unit in a society. It is physically and mentally. crucial to everyone’s healthy growth. In order to enjoy harmonious family and stable society, effected should be take to creat close family relationship.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Families are not as close as before. Give reasons for this change, and suggest some ways to bring families closer.

In the past, family was a more significant concept in people’s minds; it was the center of people’s lives. Nowadays, however, the relationship between family members is less strong. [STRIKE]falling apart.[/STRIKE] But [STRIKE]what are the[/STRIKE] although various factors may have contributed to this, [STRIKE]phenomenon, various[/STRIKE] people have diverse opinions on the matter. As far as I am concerned, [STRIKE]it results[/STRIKE] the problem stems from the modern lifestyle. [STRIKE]following reasons.[/STRIKE]

The first reason is that people are spending more and more time on their work or study. Compared with the past, people face fierce competition and suffer from great pressure. Therefore, they [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] feel compelled to devote more time and energy to their career. In fact, some people are too occupied to spend time with their families. [STRIKE]What is more, some[/STRIKE] Furthermore, many modern jobs require people to work in other cities, and some young people [STRIKE]sters[/STRIKE] have to [STRIKE]leave[/STRIKE] live away from their parents [STRIKE]at an early[/STRIKE]to study. [STRIKE]elsewhere.[/STRIKE] As time passes, those people can become emotionally estranged from their family members.

Another reason is [STRIKE]that there are more[/STRIKE] to do with the incredible variety of media entertainment and communication tools [STRIKE]ing forms[/STRIKE] available. Nowadays, [STRIKE]high[/STRIKE] advanced technology has brought [STRIKE]brings[/STRIKE] us [STRIKE]more interesting activities[/STRIKE] computers, personal smartphones and the Internet, all of which [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] easily attract people’s attention and occupy their time. [STRIKE], such as[/STRIKE] Most young people like playing video games, watching TV and surfing the Internet. As a consequence, people [STRIKE]are indulged in those things with totally neglecting the feelings of[/STRIKE] simply don't have as much time to spend with their family members.

Nevertheless, there are things we can do to bring family members closer. , [STRIKE]these are some suggestions may put forward.[/STRIKE] Firstly, never take [STRIKE]office[/STRIKE] work [STRIKE]back to[/STRIKE] home, and set a regular and [STRIKE]enough[/STRIKE] adequate time slot to [STRIKE]spare[/STRIKE] spend with our family members, no matter how important the work is. Family always comes first. Secondly, people who study or work far away from their home may take advantage of modern technology to make phone calls or video chat with their relatives as much as possible. Last but not least, juveniles should be taught the [STRIKE]sene[/STRIKE] importance of family when they are young.

To sum up, although the modern lifestyle has weakened traditional family bonds, it is important for everyone to realize that the family is the basic unit in a society. [STRIKE]It is physically and mentally. crucial to everyone’s healthy growth. In order to enjoy harmonious family and stable society, effected should be take to creat close family relationship.[/STRIKE]
.
 

rodgers white

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
But [STRIKE]what are the[/STRIKE]although various factors may have contributed to this, [STRIKE]phenomenon, various [/STRIKE]people have diverse opinions on the matter.
Teechar, you actually mean: Although various factors may have contributed to this,[STRIKE] phenomenon, various[/STRIKE] people have diverse opinions on the matter.

It's just a slip of pen, I know. It's really an honor to be here with you in our "La La Land".
 
Last edited:

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
No. I meant what I wrote. Your version doesn't work. By the way, I know you're well meaning, but please don't use "my friend" or "buddy" in your replies. They're actually inappropriate in the context of this forum. :)
 

rodgers white

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
No. I meant what I wrote. Your version doesn't work. By the way, I know you're well meaning, but please don't use "my friend" or "buddy" in your replies. They're actually inappropriate in the context of this forum. :)
Got you, teechar.:)
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top