Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

[rodgers white]

**************************************************
My dear friends,

Reading is very important in our daily life. We can gain much knowledge by reading many good books, which can enlarge our views. Besides, if we read more important books, our study can be improved and we can grow up in a healthier and happier way.

However, many activities take up too much of our reading time, such as listening to music, watching TV and going online. What a pity! So I would like to suggest that everyone read more good books. It will be beneficial to us.

Let's start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

******************************************************

The above is a writing practice for my students. It assumes that you are writing a letter to call on your schoolmates to read more good books in their leisure time. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.

 

[tedmc]

**************************************************
My dear friends,

Reading (I would prefer "the reading habit") is very important in our daily life. We can gain much knowledge by reading many good books, which [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] would [STRIKE]enlarge[/STRIKE] broaden our views. Besides, if we read more [STRIKE]important[/STRIKE] books, our[STRIKE] study [/STRIKE] studies can[STRIKE] be [/STRIKE]improve[STRIKE]d[/STRIKE] (that is, if you are a student) and we can grow up in a healthier and happier way (this does not follow from the first part of the sentence)

However, many activities take up too much of our reading time, such as listening to music, watching TV and going online. (Most of our time is taken up by activities such as...., leaving little time for us to be engaged in reading, which is a pity. )What a pity! So I would like to suggest that everyone read more good books(make some time for reading despite our busy schedule). It will be beneficial to us.

Let's start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

******************************************************

The above is a writing practice for my students. It assumes that you are writing a letter to call on your schoolmates to read more good books in their leisure time. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.

.

I feel your essay could be made to read more smoothly.

 

[rodgers white]

.

I feel your essay could be made to read more smoothly.

Many thanks for your time and consideration. Here is my second version:

***************************************************************

My dear friends,

The habit of reading is of great importance in our daily life. We can gain much knowledge by reading many good books, which would certainly broaden our views and improve your imagination as well. Besides, if we read more books, it can reduce our stress, and also make us more interesting and attractive.

However, Most of our time is taken up by activities such as listening to music, watching TV and going online, leaving little time for us to be engaged in reading, which is really a pity.

So, I would like to suggest that everyone make some time for reading more despite our busy schedule. It will definitely be beneficial for us to discover and create better ourselves.

Let's start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

 

[tedmc]

Many thanks for your time and consideration. Here is my second version:

***************************************************************

My dear friends,

The habit of reading is of great importance in our daily life. We can gain much knowledge by reading many good books, which would certainly broaden our views and improve your imagination as well. Besides, if we read more books, [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] we can reduce our stress, and also make us more interesting and attractive.

However, most of our time is taken up by activities such as listening to music, watching TV and going online, leaving little time for us to be engaged in reading, which is really a pity.

So, I would like to suggest that everyone makes some time for reading [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] despite our busy schedule. It will definitely be beneficial for us to discover and create better ourselves.

Let's start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

Maybe it is just me, but I find the parts underlined a bit amusing and far-fetched.

 

[rodgers white]

Maybe it is just me, but I find the parts underlined a bit amusing and far-fetched.

My dear friends,

The habit of reading is of great importance in our daily life. We can gain much knowledge by reading many good books, which would certainly broaden our views and improve your imagination as well. Besides, the more we read, the smarter and more attractive we will be.

However, most of our time is taken up by activities such as listening to music, watching TV and going online, leaving little time for us to be engaged in reading, which is really a pity.

So, I would like to suggest that everyone makes some time for reading more despite our busy schedule. It will definitely be beneficial for us to discover and create better ourselves.

Let's start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

 

[tedmc]

It will definitely be beneficial for us to discover and create better ourselves.

That is not correct. You can say to "re-create ourselves better" but that is a bit abstract to me. Perhaps: to better ourselves as a person.

 

[rodgers white]

That is not correct. You can say to "re-create ourselves better" but that is a bit abstract to me. Perhaps: to better ourselves as a person.

My dear friends,

The habit of reading is of great importance in our daily life. We can gain much knowledge by reading many good books, which would certainly broaden our views and improve our imagination as well. Besides, the more we read, the smarter and more attractive we will become.

However, most of our time is taken up by activities such as listening to music, watching TV and going online, leaving little time for us to be engaged in reading, which is really a pity.

So, I would like to suggest that everyone makes some time for reading more despite our busy schedule, which will definitely make you a better person.

Let's start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

 

[tedmc]

So, I would like to suggest that everyone makes some time for reading more despite our busy schedule, which will definitely make you a better person.

Do you think the word "more" should be there?

 

[rodgers white]

Do you think the word "more" should be there?

Maybe it's better to leave it out.

 

[rodgers white]

*************
My dear friends,

Reading is very important in our daily life. We not only gain knowledge but also broaden our horizon by this means. However, with the development of technology, more and more students are addicted to watch TV and go online. So, it’s high time that we should read books more often meanwhile choose high quality books. As time goes by, you will feel the great charm and benefits of reading.

Let’s start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

******************

The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. The word limit is between 60 and 90. Many thanks in advance.


*********************
My dear friends,

Reading is very important in our daily life. We not only gain much knowledge but also broaden our horizon by [STRIKE]this means[/STRIKE] reading many good books. However, with the development of technology, more and more students are addicted to watching TV and going online, which is really a pity. So, it’s high time that we should read books more often, and meanwhile we’d better choose high-quality books. As time goes by, you will certainly feel the great charm [STRIKE]and benefits[/STRIKE] of reading and benefit from it.

Let’s start reading now!

Yours,
Li Hua

*******************

 

[tedmc]

Reading is very important in our daily life. We not only gain much knowledge but also broaden our horizon by [STRIKE]this means[/STRIKE] reading [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE] good books. However, with the development of technology, more and more students are addicted to watching TV and going online, which is really a pity. So, it’s high time that we [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] read books more often, [STRIKE]and meanwhile we’d better choose high-quality[/STRIKE] especially good books. As time goes by, you will certainly feel the great charm [STRIKE]and benefits [/STRIKE] of reading and benefit from it.

 

[rodgers white]

So, it’s high time that we [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] read books more often, [STRIKE]and meanwhile we’d better choose high-quality[/STRIKE] especially good books.

The word "should" here can not be erased according to the grammatical rule if 'read' is used as a present form of this verb. If you leave it out, 'read' here is used as past subjunctive to express something should be done and that is already a bit late.

Although the form of 'read' has changed, both sentences are acceptable.

By the way, I'd like to use 'great ones' instead of 'good books'. What do you think?

 

[tedmc]

I disagree on your use of "should" after "it's a high time".

"It is high time..." means that "something should have happened". It is like a suggestion. Thus the phrase should not be followed by "should".

"Good" or "great" does not make much difference to the sentence I think.

 

[rodgers white]

I disagree on your use of "should" after "it's a high time".

"It is high time..." means that "something should have happened". It is like a suggestion. Thus the phrase should not be followed by "should".

"Good" or "great" does not make much difference to the sentence I think.

I think you are right. However, you can see the following a lot when you search 'It's high time' on Baidu.

It is high/about time that 正是干……的时候了，high/about 只是对time 强调。

从句谓语动词要用过去式或用should加动词原形，但should不可省略。

It is time that the children went to bed.


It is high time that the children should go to bed.

 

[tedmc]

I think Baidu is wrong.

"It is high time that" is similar to phrases like these:

It is suggested that/it is proposed that/it is recommended that/it is imperative that

"Should" does not go with those phrases; it is simply not logical.