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Thread: dream in life

  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Question dream in life

    I wrote an essay and i need to know if there is any mistakes in it please ..
    The essay 👇
    "I don't know what is the dream that you have, you sometimes get disappointed while working on this dream, but you have to believe that this dream that you are holding in your mind is possible . It's hard to achieve your dream, it's not easy . In the process of working on your dream you will endure a lot of disappointment, a lot of failure, alot of pain and you will even endure moments of stop believing in yourself . The hard time will come but it will not come to stay, it come to pass away . So to achieve this dream you have to hold on and endure alot, you have to change yourself and change the way your mind think . There is nothing as powerfull as a changed mind . You can change your hair, your clothes, your address, ypur spouse and even your residence, but if you didn't change your mind you will nevet see a change in your life because everything is changing from outside but nothing inside is changed . If you wanted something in this life, if you want to change yourself, if there is a goal you want to reach then change your mind, it's a challenge and it's hard, you must be patient, you must endure alot, you have to want achieving your dream as you want to breath, you have to leave your sleep and your rest time to work again and again and again . That's how winning is done ! . Even when you think that your dream is impossible you have to believe that if someone could do it anytime in this history then it's possible and you can do it ! You have to delete impossible word from your dictionary ! . When you look to someone who is very successful and you say to yourself Wow he is amazing ! Remember that people are rewarded in public for what they practiced for years in private . Remember that greatness is not that wonderful thing that is eosteric on some people . Greatiness really exist in all of us, and you have to discover it . Most of people live their lives without developing their talents or even discover what their talents are ! . I guess the thing that will make you happy in this life is to step up and to raise your standard and discover yourself and your talents ! I guess that is hiw you will belive in your dream and that is how you will have the courage to make it come true ."

    Thank you for your helping : )

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: dream in life

    Hello Sunflower4869, and welcome to the forum.
    What was the prompt (question) for your text?
    Were you asked to write an essay or just a short passage?

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: dream in life

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunflower4869 View Post
    I wrote an essay and I need to know if there is are any mistakes in it please.


    Thank you for your help. ing : )
    While we wait for your response to post #2, please note my corrections above to the rest of your post. It is important to follow these rules of written English:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - End every sentence with one appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Always capitalise the word "I".
    - Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.

    Please don't try to make your own smileys/emoticons. If you want to use one, click on the icon in the toolbar and choose one.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Newbie
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    #4

    Re: dream in life

    Thanks alot.
    Please, I want to know if there are any grammatical mistakes in my writing.
    I was asked to write an essay.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: dream in life

    You started off with "a lot" and that was fine. Then you switched to "alot" which is not so good. While you see "alot" on Facebook a great deal, it is not a word.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: dream in life

    It is not enough to know if there are any mistakes. You have to know how to fix them.

    Perhaps:

    I don't know what your dream is. Sometimes you might feel discouraged and want to give up. You have to believe in yourself in order to succeed.

  7. Newbie
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    #7

    Re: dream in life

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    While we wait for your response to post #2, please note my corrections above to the rest of your post. It is important to follow these rules of written English:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - End every sentence with one appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Always capitalise the word "I".
    - Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.

    Please don't try to make your own smileys/emoticons. If you want to use one, click on the icon in the toolbar and choose one.
    Thank you very much.
    I try to follow the rules that you have mentioned above.

    I wrote an essay and I need to know if there are any mistakes in it please.

    The essay

    I don't know what is the dream that you have, you sometimes get disappointed while working on this dream, but you have to believe that this dream that you are holding in your mind is possible. It's hard to achieve your dream, it's not easy. In the process of working on your dream you will endure a lot of disappointment, a lot of failure, alot of pain and you will even endure moments of stop believing in yourself. The hard time will come but it will not come to stay, it will come to pass away. So, to achieve this dream you have to hold on and endure alot, you have to change yourself and change the way your mind thinks . There is nothing as powerfull as a changed mind . You can change your hair, your clothes, your address, your spouse and even your residence, but if you didn't change your mind you will never see a change in your life, because everything is changing from outside but nothing inside is changed. If you want something in this life, if you want to change yourself, if there is a goal you want to reach then change your mind, it's a challenge and it's hard, you must be patient, you must endure alot, you have to want achieving your dream as you want to breath, you have to leave your sleep and your rest time to work again and again and again . That's how winning is done! Even when you think that your dream is impossible you have to believe that if someone could do it anytime in this history then it's possible and you can do it! You have to delete "impossible" word from your dictionary! When you look to someone who is very successful and you say to yourself Wow he is amazing! Remember that people are rewarded in public for what they practiced for years in private. Remember that greatness is not that wonderful thing that is eosteric on some people. Greatiness really exist in all of us, and you have to discover it. Most of people live their lives without developing their talents or even discover what their talents are! I guess the thing that will make you happy in this life is to step up and to raise your standard and discover yourself and your talents! I guess that is how you will belive in your dream and that is how you will have the courage to make it come true.

    Thank you for your help.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: dream in life

    Perhaps:

    There will be setbacks, but you must overcome them.

    And:

    You might feel discouraged, but you must not stop believing in yourself.

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: dream in life

    To achieve you must believe.

  10. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: dream in life

    You must have goals, and you must strive to achieve those goals.

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