I don't understand the text highlighted in blue.I am preparing for an interview for the post of immigration officer (a department under disciplinary force). Please take a look of my script below. You can improve my script or raise questions about the content if you find it confusing or illogical. I will update this post by posting more draft questions and answers from time to time. Since it is a bit difficult to prepare all of them at one time. Thank you.
Self-introduction
Reason for applying for the post
I would like to become an IO [Is that a standard abbreviation? If not, don't use it!] for several reasons.as I want to fulfill both the intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.
For intrinsic values, I would like to work for missions. This is becauseFirst, I have a strong desire to serve the people of Hong Kongpeopleand visitors coming to Hong Kong, as the department is responsible for dealing with issueshighly related to livelihood issueslikethe combat ofillegal labour,workers andparallel goods and so forth.far.
Also, I would like to make good use of my advantages, which are determined and strategic. And this will be explained thereafter.
Of course, I am also attracted to this position as it would offer me afor extrinsic values, there is no deny that being an IO means you can earn an external reward, that isa stable careerprospectand a good income.as the department values the development and the benefits of staff.
Last but not least, the immigration department has a good and professional image in the eyes of the Hong Kong people.Most Hong Kong people, if not all, think servants working under the immigration department are well versed in both the pen and the sword. And I hope to be a member of it.
Qualities that make me fit the post
I think I can fit the post as I possess the following attributes. To start with, I am determined. This can be supported by how I achieved my goals during university. It seemed that I lost my motivation after becoming an undergraduate. I found the situation worrying as human cannot live without motivation. Therefore, I set goals for myself in different aspects: language development, academic achievement, and social life. To achieve these goals, I put wrote all them down on a note and set it as the wallpaper of my smartphone. This is because I found human will drag their feet on their goals once they forgot them, so I made them onto my wallpaper to remind me from time to time. Although I didn’t achieve some of my goals, most of them had been fulfilled.[That's badly written. Give specific and relevant examples and be concise.]
I have another potential attribute that is being strategic. This can be supported by how I achieve my goal I started my weight-training journey two years ago, my attitude in the first half year towards weight-training is hard work and persistence. But it turns out that my muscle-building was in a slow progress, and I lost motivation in achieving the goal and wanted to give up. Later I discovered that weight-training is about science. So I amended my strategy with information and advice from the Internet and more experienced gymers . I restarted my program, and it somehow proves that my planning works in a good way.
Education
Family
I was raised in a single-parent family. This experiencegivesgave me a chance to learn to live independently. Since my mother needs to work to make ends meet, I need to take care of myselfownincludingaspects likedoing housework and focusing on my studies. Sometimes, my mother felt frustrated and hopeless,andbut I would alwaysgive mytry to comfort and support her.immediately.I learnt to understand. At the same time, Ihave nodid not blameonmy father, as he had difficulty providingfinancial support tofor the family, which is something that was beyond his control.he cannot change.And I understand too.Althoughthere is a small part of me that has been dictated by thedestiny played a role in my life, I firmly believe that my futurethere is a larger part of me whichis for me to decide.under my full control.

Student or Learner