[Essay] Please correct my essay

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hai_lua_t2

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Dear Teachers,

I create a topic for myself and write about it as a chance to practice writing skills. Please help me correct it.
The topic is: Which country do you like best? Why you love it? Give at least two reasons.

Three years ago, I stopped working and started travelling some countries in South East Asia. It was a good chance for me to see many wonderful lands. But Singapore was one of the countries that I never forget.


Firstly, I was impressed by the public transportation named MRT (Mass Rapid Transportation) there. And I loved it at the first sight by the convenience, automation and more than that it was always on time. This system helped me go everywhere in the country on the trains. At each train station, there was always fully guideline and maps to help me go to the place I want. Whenever I got lost, I could get support from officer at train station quickly.


The other thing that made me love Singapore was the cleanness. The whole country was protected by a very tricky law about keeping environment clean. I was really surprised by there was no tissues in the restaurants as well as chewing gums was not allowed there. So the streets were completely clean. I could not find the garbage even a tiny cigarette on the road. The air's quality was keep at the high level of freshness. The clean air gave me a comfortable feeling to walk outside although I sweated a lot by hot weather. This was very unique and made Singapore one of the best clean country in the world.


For all those, I loved Singapore for the first time. It is also a country for young people want to study by a highly recommended education system as well as the environment to develop new career for talents.
 

rodgers white

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Whenever I got lost, I could get support from officer at train station quickly.


The other thing that made me love Singapore was the cleanness. The whole country was protected by a very tricky law about keeping environment clean. I was really surprised by there was no tissues in the restaurants as well as chewing gums was not allowed there. So the streets were completely clean. I could not find the garbage even a tiny cigarette on the road. The air's quality was keep at the high level of freshness. The clean air gave me a comfortable feeling to walk outside although I sweated a lot by hot weather. This was very unique and made Singapore one of the best clean country in the world.


For all those, I loved Singapore for the first time. It is also a country for young people want to study by a highly recommended education system as well as the environment to develop new career for talents.

1. officer -- missing article
2. environment -- missing article
3. was keep -- incorrect verb form
4. very unique -- qualifier before non-gradable adjective
5. want -- lacking relative pronoun
6. new -- missing article
 

tedmc

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Dear Teachers,

I create a topic for myself and write about it as a chance to practice writing skills. Please help me correct it.
The topic is: Which country do you like best? Why do you love it? Give at least two reasons.

Three years ago, I stopped working and started travelling to some countries in South East Asia. It was a good chance for me to see many wonderful lands. But Singapore was one of the countries that I will never forget.


Firstly, I was impressed by the public transportation named MRT (Mass Rapid Transportation) there. And I loved it at [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] first sight and was impressed by the convenience, the automation and [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] on top of [STRIKE]than [/STRIKE]that, it was always on time. [STRIKE]This[/STRIKE] The transportation system helped me go everywhere in the country on the trains. At each train station, there was always [STRIKE]fully guideline[/STRIKE] guides and maps to help me go to the place I want. Whenever I got lost, I could get support from officers at the train stations quickly.


The other thing that[STRIKE] made me love[/STRIKE] impressed me about Singapore was the [STRIKE]cleanness[/STRIKE] cleanliness. The whole country was protected by a very [STRIKE]tricky[/STRIKE] strict laws about keeping the environment clean. I was really surprised [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] that there was no [STRIKE]tissues[/STRIKE] litter in the restaurants as well as chewing gums was not allowed there. So the streets were completely clean. I could not find [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] any garbage, even a tiny cigarette on the road. The air[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] quality was [STRIKE]keep at the high level of freshness[/STRIKE] very good. The clean air gave me a comfortable feeling to walk outside although I sweated a lot [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] due to the hot and humid weather. This was very unique and made Singapore one of the [STRIKE]best clean country[/STRIKE] cleanest countries in the world.


For all those, I loved Singapore[STRIKE] for the first time[/STRIKE]. It is also a country for young people want to study by a highly recommended education system as well as the environment to develop new career for talents. It is a good place for young people to develop their talents and careers because of its excellent education system.
.
 

hai_lua_t2

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1. officer -- missing article
2. environment -- missing article
3. was keep -- incorrect verb form
4. very unique -- qualifier before non-gradable adjective
5. want -- lacking relative pronoun
6. new -- missing article

Thank you so much!
Please let me correct with your suggestion

Whenever I got lost, I could get support from the officers at the train stations quickly.

Another thing that made me love Singapore was the cleanliness. The whole country was protected by the very strict regulations about keeping the environment clean. I was really surprised by there was no tissues in the restaurants as well as chewing gums was not allowed there. So the streets were completely clean. I could not find any garbage even a tiny of cigarette on the roads. The air quality was kept at the high level of freshness. The clean air gave me a comfortable feeling to walk outside although I sweated a lot due to the hot and humid condition of tropical country as Singapore. This was unique and made Singapore become one of the cleanest country in the world.

For all those, I loved Singapore. Also, it is a country for people who want to study by the excellent education system as well as develop a new career by the open policy for all talents on over the world.
 

tedmc

VIP Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
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Interested in Language
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Please let me correct with your suggestion

Whenever I got lost, I could get support from the officers at the train stations quickly.

Another thing that made me love Singapore was the cleanliness. The whole country was protected by the very strict regulations about keeping the environment clean. I was really surprised by there was no tissues in the restaurants as well as chewing gums was not allowed there. So the streets were completely clean. I could not find any garbage even a tiny of cigarette on the roads. The air quality was kept at the high level of freshness. The clean air gave me a comfortable feeling to walk outside although I sweated a lot due to the hot and humid condition of tropical country as Singapore. This was unique and made Singapore become one of the cleanest country in the world.

For all those, I loved Singapore. Also, it is a country for people who want to study by the excellent education system as well as develop a new career by the open policy for all talents on over the world.

The underlined parts need correction.
 

hai_lua_t2

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
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Home Country
Vietnam
Current Location
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The underlined parts need correction.

Please let me
correct with your suggestion ==>Please let me edit the essay with your correction

I was really surprised by there was no tissues in the restaurants ==>I was really surprised when I saw there was no tissues in the restaurants..
I could not find any garbage even a tiny of cigarette on the roads ==> I don't know how to correct it
The air quality was kept at the high level of freshness ==> The air quality was always maintained very well
I sweated a lot due to the hot and humid condition of tropical country as Singapore ==> I don't know how to correct it too
one of the cleanest country in the world ==> one of the cleanest countries in the world
who want to study by the excellent education system as well as ==> who want to study at the excellent education system as well as
develop a new career by the open policy for all talents on over the world.==>I don't know how find out the way to express the same idea
 
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