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  1. Just Joined
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    #1

    Re-writing in a nice way

    Can anyone help me revise below letter - please help me say it in a nice way:
    "It has been observed that you are not performing as what is expected of you as the lead supervisor of the project. You have been assigning the job that you should perform and this has caused delay in the completion of work. May I remind you therefore to please exercise due diligence in the performance of the work assigned to you and minimize not to delegate much of the job to others who also have deadlines to meet. Let us work in such a way that is fair to all and according to our job description."

    Thank you.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 13-Mar-2017 at 12:26. Reason: Enlarged font to make post readable

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Re-writing in a nice way

    Quote Originally Posted by gemz64delara View Post
    Rewriting in a nice way

    Can anyone help me revise below letter? Please help me say it in a nice way:

    "I have observed that you are not performing as well as expected as the lead supervisor of the project, and this has caused a delay in the completion of work. Please exercise due diligence, and do not delegate as much of the job to others, who also have deadlines to meet. Let's work in a way that is fair to all and stays within our job descriptions."

    Thank you.
    You're welcome!

    "It has been observed" will raise all kinds of questions, none of them good: Who observed me? Who reported me? Is someone out to get me?

    By saying "I have observed," you own the criticism. It comes from you. That's cleaner and more fair.

    Also, be sure to deliver this after you have had the face-to-face conversation. It's good to have something on paper for your personnel files, but it shouldn't be a substitute for personal interaction.

    Avoid wordiness. The clearer your English, the clearer the result.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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