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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    Robert had broken off his engagement

    I am wondering if my sentence sounds natural.

    Robert had broken off his engagement with his girlfriend when he discovered that she had cheated her ex-husband out of a large amount of money.
    Last edited by Bassim; 14-Mar-2017 at 23:42.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Robert had broken off his engagement

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I am wondering if my sentence sounds natural.

    Robert had broken off his engagement with to his girlfriend fiancée when he discovered that she had cheated his her ex-husband out of a large amount of money.
    See my changes above. To shorten the sentence, you could say "Robert had broken off his engagement when he discovered that his fiancée had cheated her ex-husband out of a large amount of money."
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. probus's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Robert had broken off his engagement

    In reference to sexual relationships, cheating almost always means flirting or having sex with someone other than your presumed partner. If you want it to mean financial cheating you would have to provide a lot of context.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Robert had broken off his engagement

    That context is perfectly clear with the end of the sentence. Also, if she had had sex with someone else, it would have said "when he discovered that his fiancée had cheated on​ her ex-husband".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Robert had broken off his engagement

    Why use past perfect "had broken"? Did they later reunite? You need a reason to use past perfect - something else that happened after this event but before now to justify it. Otherwise, just say "Robert broke up with his fiancee when he learned she had .."
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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