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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    Bounce on the trampoline

    This sentence appeared in my mind after listening the news about people injured on trampolines. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    Lauren felt stupid when the man he went out on a first date with took her with him to bounce on the trampoline. She believed she was going to break her neck any minute.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Bounce on the trampoline

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    This sentence appeared in my mind after listening the to news about people injured on trampolines. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    Lauren felt stupid when the man she went out on a first date with took her with him to go bouncing on the a trampoline. She believed she was going to break her neck any minute.
    Consider using "thought" instead of "believed".

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Bounce on the trampoline

    Instead of "took her to go bouncing on a trampoline", you could just say "took her trampolining".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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