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    #1

    a ten-year low

    Would you please correct the following sentences?

    David hadn't realized he was lost in a reverie until stock prices plummeted more than 30 percent to a ten-year low in New York last Friday. I hear through the grapevine that he's desperately groping in the dark to get out of his predicament, but it's too late now. His life as an investor is hanging by a thread.
    I am not a teacher. I am currently studying basic English grammar.

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    #2

    Re: a ten-year low

    Try writing this as seven or eight short sentences.
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    #3

    Re: a ten-year low

    While you're thinking about those seven or eight short sentences that "GoesStation" suggested, I think it's fine as written. Change 'David' to "Warren Buffet" and it's something that you might read in the financial section of any newspaper (which really doesn't prove anything). Seven or eight might chop it up a bit too much.

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    #4

    Re: a ten-year low

    Seven or eight would be too many, but I think five or six punchier sentences might express the thoughts in that paragraph better.
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    #5

    Re: a ten-year low

    Quote Originally Posted by GoesStation View Post
    five or six punchier sentences
    That's a tall order!
    I am not a teacher. I am currently studying basic English grammar.

  1. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: a ten-year low

    Quote Originally Posted by YAMATO2201 View Post
    Would you please correct the following sentences?

    David hadn't realized he was lost in a reverie until stock prices plummeted more than 30 percent to a ten-year low in New York last Friday. I heard through the grapevine that he's desperately groping in the dark to get out of his predicament, but it's too late now. His life as an investor is hanging by a thread.
    I don't know the context. So I wonder whether you really mean "he was lost in a reverie." That means stocks fell thirty percent while he was sitting at his desk daydreaming.

    Didn't he notice his coworkers jumping out the window? That's a lot of daydreaming!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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