[Cover Letter] Elevator speech

[dhruva101]

Hello teachers,
In future, there can be an opportunity in our organization for promotions as well as switching positions from one area to another. Considering this opportunity I would like to meet few people to market myself. I am planning to be concise while expressing my interest on certain positions. I also would like to structure discussion in conversation style so that it will be more interactive.

I will start with a question and then I present my elevator speech. Can you please review and correct as needed?
=================================================
Hi Bebo,
Can you please let me know the process for the next round of placements?

Once I get the answer, then I will express my interest (elevator speech) with supporting information as follows.


Thank you! I want to let you know that I am interested to continue/join your organization since I have been working/have worked in the organization for a while. I have the technical knowledge of this area and also I have developed relationships with the people in this organization.
Although I am not sure how many senior level positions are available, I am interested in taking up higher responsibilities. In fact, as you know, I have been handling those higher responsibilities in my current assignment.
In my current assignment, I have been working/presenting status at times directly with/to the director. Also, as you know, influencing and changing current diversified user’s behavior is critical for the success of this assignment. I have been developing different communication strategies with the support of other leads to get their alignment. This assignment is not really organized and several loose ends are there. I am working to separate knowns vs unknowns so that we can move forward on knowns while continue to work on unknowns to bring light into unknowns.

<I have more supporting material to discuss if there are any questions. If not, then I would like to end with the following sentence.>

Bebo, Thank you for the conversation. I believe I will get an opportunity to move up in the ladder. I look forward to working with you for a long time.




Thank you !
Dhruva.

 

[teechar]

Hello teachers,
In future, there [STRIKE]can be an[/STRIKE] are likely to be opportunities in [STRIKE]our[/STRIKE] my organization for promotions as well as [STRIKE]switching positions[/STRIKE] moving from one area to another. Considering this, [STRIKE]opportunity[/STRIKE] I would like to meet a few people to market myself. I am planning to be concise, while expressing my interest [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in certain positions. I also would like to structure the discussion in conversation style so that it will be more interactive.

I will start with a question and then present my elevator speech. Can you please review and correct as needed?

=================================================

Hi Bebo,

Can you please let me know the process for the next round of placements?

Once I get the answer, then I will express my interest (elevator speech) with supporting information as follows.


Thank you! I want to let you know that I am interested to continue/join your organization since I have been working/have worked in the organization for a while. I have the technical knowledge of this area and also I have developed relationships with the people in this organization.

Although I am not sure how many senior level positions are available, I am interested in taking up higher responsibilities. In fact, as you know, I have been handling those higher responsibilities in my current assignment.
[STRIKE]In my current assignment,[/STRIKE] I have been working/presenting status at times directly with/to the director. Also, as you know, influencing and changing current diversified user’s behavior is critical for the success of this assignment. I have been developing different communication strategies with the support of other leads to get their alignment. This assignment is not really organized and several loose ends are there. I am working to separate knowns vs unknowns so that we can move forward on knowns while continue to work on unknowns to bring light into unknowns. [Is this inspired by Donald Rumsfeld?!]

<I have more supporting material to discuss if there are any questions. If not, then I would like to end with the following sentence.>

[STRIKE]Bebo,[/STRIKE] Thanks for the chat. Email me if anything comes up. [STRIKE]you for the conversation. I believe I will get an opportunity to move up in the ladder. I look forward to working with you for a long time.

[/STRIKE]


Thank you!
Dhruva.

I don't understand the text highlighted in blue. Also, note that lifts (elevators) are quite fast nowadays. ;-) Be concise and direct.

 

[dhruva101]

I don't understand the text highlighted in blue. Also, note that lifts (elevators) are quite fast nowadays. ;-) Be concise and direct.

I have changed few sentences except the last one. I am still working on the last one. Can you please check whether it makes any sense now ?

=====================================================================================

Thank you! I want to let you know that I am interested to continue in your organization since I have been working in the organization for a while. I have the technical knowledge of this area and also I have developed relationships with the people in this organization.

Although I am not sure how many senior level positions are available, I am interested in taking up higher responsibilities. In fact, as you know, I have been handling those higher responsibilities in my current assignment.
In my current assignment, I have been working at times directly with the director. I have been developing different communication strategies get stakeholders alignment since changing their process is the key success factor for this assignment. This assignment is not really organized and several loose ends are there. I am working to separate knowns vs unknowns so that we can move forward on knowns while continue to work on unknowns to bring light into unknowns. [Is this inspired by Donald Rumsfeld?!]



PS: I don't know who is Donald Rumsfeld.

 

[emsr2d2]

PS: I don't know who [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] Donald Rumsfeld is.

This should help.

 

[dhruva101]

Thank you and I appreciate all the help and support this forum offers.