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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Help with my motivation letter

    Hello teachers. I would like someone review my motivation letter for a Master. A couple of weeks ago I uploaded another letter for apply to another Master, I just changed the third and fourth paragraph but I put all the content of the letter to enhance the understanding of the context. I really appreciate any opinion about the content and any review about grammar and spelling mistakes. Thanks you so much in advance.
    Cheers

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    I wish to apply for your XXX program starting in September 2017, which I believe will provide a new direction in my professional career that is in line with my objectives and aspirations.

    I have a bachelor's degree in journalism from University of XXX. During my undergraduate studies, I had the opportunity to participate in the Erasmus Program for one semester. Undoubtedly, that experience changed my way of seeing the world. After graduating, I realized that I wanted to continue connecting with different cultures, so I decided to move to London to improve my English language skills. After living for two years in London, I returned to Spain where I worked in various roles related to the communications and tourism sector. Although I have developed many personal and professional skills over these years, I think it is time for me to pursue further education at university.

    I have always been captivated by how powerful the information can become, if used at the right time and in the correct way, could even change the course of events. Therefore, after intensive research and multiple options analysis, I decided to improve my knowledge in the Big Data field. I have specifically chosen this program because it is the only one that links Big Data's technical and practical knowledge with a social, cultural, political and economic framework. We live in a digital age where humans are constantly creating and storing information. Analyzing and interpreting the enormous amount of data generated each day are skills highly demanded by companies from different sectors such as research, education, health or national security. The extensive prospective of employment and the potential to transform our current way of understanding the world makes Big Data an extremely attractive discipline in which I want to develop my professional future.

    On the other hand, I would like to highlight the distinguished reputation of XXX University in the area of humanities and social sciences. The department of XXX is a pioneer in its field being the only one that offers programs that study application of technology in the arts and humanities, and in the social sciences. XXX is also one of the top 25 universities in the world with a large number of international students –something I highly value-.The infrastructures and location, in the heart of London, are overwhelming. London is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in Europe; it is the perfect place to start making networking connections that will facilitate my joining to the job market after graduation.

    In terms of my professional background, I have worked in various sectors, mainly in communication, hospitality and tourism. I completed my university internship in the communication department in the most important transport company of XXX. When I finished college, I took a job as a writer and producer at a local radio station. That helped me to enhance my ability in planning and organization and my self-confidence. Later in London, I studied English while working in the hospitality sector. I truly enjoyed that experience. Living on my own in a foreign country was a big challenge. The whole experience helped me to develop valuable skills for any job such as problem-solving, adaptability, a team spirit and multicultural sensitivity. Finally, when I returned to Spain, I worked in a five-star hotel, where I was able to accomplish some projects with the marketing and communication departments. I had the opportunity there to be responsible for a team of people which enabled me to enhance my leadership and management skills

    I consider myself a mature and responsible person. I know my abilities and my potential, and although it has been a few years since I finished my undergraduate studies, I believe this is the perfect time to start a new chapter in my life through this master's, since all the work experience accumulated during these years have made me understand life from a wider perspective. I realize that the program for which I am applying is demanding and involves complete dedication. However, my motto is: “The only goal you cannot accomplish is the one you do not go after”. Therefore, I firmly believe that I am fully capable of succeeding in this program, and I am prepared to do my utmost to achieve my professional goals and objectives. It would be an honor and a great privilege for me if you accept my candidacy to join the program.
    Thanks for your time and for considering my application, I look forward to your acceptance.

    Yours faithfully,
    XXX

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Help with my motivation letter

    For the paragraphs that needn't change, just use the other version please. As for the new material, what do you mean by "Big Data", and is there a reason for it to be capitalized?

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: Help with my motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    For the paragraphs that needn't change, just use the other version please. As for the new material, what do you mean by "Big Data", and is there a reason for it to be capitalized?

    Big Data is a field of study related with the analyzed and interpretation of huge amount of data to reveal patterns, trends, and associations used by companies mainly in the areas of ecommerce and marketing. Big data is a type of discipline so I think it does have to be written in capital letters.

    The following paragraphs are those that need a review:

    I have carried out several online courses taught by Google related to digital marketing, e-commerce and web analytics, this introductory content to the digital world has encouraged me to enhance my knowledge in the Big Data discipline. I aim to work in a multinational company in marketing and social media management to practice the knowledge of communication that I acquired in my previous studies. I believe that this program is the perfect choice because it links Big Data's technical and practical knowledge with a social, cultural, political and economic framework. We live in a digital age where humans are constantly creating and storing information. Analyzing and interpreting the enormous amount of data generated each day are skills highly demanded by companies from different sectors. The extensive prospect of employment and the potential to transform our current way of understanding the world makes Big Data a very attractive discipline in which I want to develop my professional future.


    On the other hand, I would like to highlight the distinguished reputation of XXX University in the area of humanities and social sciences. The department of XXX is a pioneer in its field being the only one that offers programs that study application of technology in the arts and humanities, and in the social sciences. XXX is also one of the top 25 universities in the world with a large number of international students –something I highly value-.The infrastructures and location, in the heart of London, are overwhelming. London is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in Europe; it is the perfect place to start making networking connections that will facilitate my joining to the job market after graduation.
    Last edited by cat89; 29-Mar-2017 at 14:57.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Help with my motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by cat89 View Post
    Big Data is a field of study related with to the analyzed analysis and interpretation of huge amounts of data to reveal patterns, trends, and associations used by companies mainly in the areas of e-commerce and marketing. Big Data is a type of discipline, so I think it does have to be written in start with capital letters.

    The following paragraphs are those that need a review:

    I have carried out successfully completed several online courses taught run by Google, related to digital marketing, e-commerce and web analytics. This introductory content introduction to the digital world has encouraged me to try and enhance my knowledge in the Big Data discipline. I aim to work in a multinational company in marketing and social media management to practice the knowledge of communication that I acquired in my previous studies. I believe that this program is the perfect choice because it links Big Data's teaches technical and practical aspects of Big Data, knowledge with especially within social, cultural, political and economic frameworks. We live in the digital age where humans are constantly creating and storing information. The ability to Analyze ing and interpret ing the enormous amount of data generated each day are skills highly demanded by companies from different sectors. The extensive prospects of employment and the potential to transform our current way of understanding the world makes Big Data a very attractive discipline in which I want to develop my professional future.

    On the other hand, I would like to highlight Furthermore, I am highly impressed by the distinguished reputation of XXX University in the area of humanities and social sciences. The department of XXX is a pioneer in its field, being the only one that offers programs that study teach the application of technology in the arts and humanities, and in the social sciences. XXX is also one of the top 25 universities in the world with a large number of international students, something I highly value, as well as the university's cosmopolitan The infrastructures and location in the heart of London. , are overwhelming. London is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in Europe; I believe it is the perfect place to make new friends and social/professional contacts, and start making networking connections that will help me in my future career. facilitate my joining to the job market after graduation.
    .

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