Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 6,618
    #1

    A paragraph from my short story

    This text is from a short story I am currently writing. In this paragraph, a carer describes his client, Sune. He is talking in the present, but describes Sune's life from the past. I am not sure if I have correctly used the the past perfect, the past and mixed them with the present. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    We all have our favourites, clients who make our job a pleasure. My is the man in his eighties, whose name is Sune. I became his carer a couple of years ago, and we got along together from the start. He had been working as a carpenter until his retirement, and now lives in a comfortable two-room flat in a leafy suburb. His job had taken him to different countries, where the company he worked for built and renovated all kinds of buildings. Sune drinks large amounts of coffee and he and I sit together in his living room while he narrates tales from Prague, Moscow, Amsterdam and other cities around Europe. At that time, he earned well and would spend a lot of money on women who ended up in his hotel room. He was divorced and the temptation around him was too great to resist, especially when he was in the Eastern Block, where he was treated like a king.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,201
    #2

    Re: A paragraph from my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    We all have our favourites, clients who make our job a pleasure. My Mine is the a man in his eighties, whose name is Sune. I became his carer a couple of years ago, and we got along together well from the start. He had been working as a carpenter until his retirement, and now lives in a comfortable two-room flat in a leafy suburb. His job had taken him to different countries, where the company he worked for built and renovated all kinds of buildings. Sune drinks large amounts of coffee, and he and I sit together in his living room while he narrates tales from Prague, Moscow, Amsterdam and other cities around Europe. At that time, he earned well When he was working, he was well paid and would spend a lot of money on women who ended up in his hotel room. He was divorced and the temptation around him was too great to resist, especially when he was in the Eastern Block, where he was treated like a king.
    .

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •