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  1. Member
    English Teacher
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      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #1

    Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    ************************************************** *******
    Yesterday Matt was sick. I picked up Archie from the sitter and Eloise from school and decided to run to Target for a few things. I had hoped to be in and out quickly.

    I found a line with just one person ahead of me and began organising my items on the conveyor. After placing my items,I looked up to see that the person ahead of me was an elderly woman. She was paying for her items with change and wanted to purchase each separately. I was frustrated with this woman and the inconvenience she had placed on me.

    But then I watched the young employee with this woman. I watched him help her count her change,ever so softly taking it from her shaking hands. When she asked if she had enough to buy a reusable bag,he told her she did and went two lines over to get one for her and then repackaged her items. Never once was this employee angry. He was nothing but patient and kind.

    As I was watching him,I saw that Eloise was too. She was standing next to the woman,watching the employee count the change. I realised I hadn’t been inconvenienced at all. That my daughter was instead witnessing kindness and patience and being taught this valuable lesson by a complete stranger.

    When the woman was finished,the employee began ringing up my items and thanked me for my patience. I then thanked him for teaching us patience and kindness by his treatment of that elderly woman. When he was finished I pushed my cart through the store trying to find the manager. I wanted her to know of the employee’s kindness and patience and how much it meant to me. After tracking her down and sharing the story with her,we left Target with a cart full of consumable items,but what is more,a heart full of gratitude for such an invaluable lesson.

    If you are ever in the Glendale Target,give Ishmael a smile and a nod. The world could use more people like him.

    ************************************************** ***********

    The task is: Please summarise the article above in your own words, using between 40 and 80 words.
    The following is just my attempt at summarising and I hope someone would proofread it and polish it. It serves as an example for my students to follow after I finish checking their summaries.

    ************************************************** ************

    One day, the author with two children went to Target to do some quick shopping. While waiting in line, she found an old lady was so slow and a bit troublesome,but the young employee still treated her patiently and kindly. Seeing that, the author was deeply touched by his kindness and patience, and was really grateful to him for giving her children and her a precious life lesson.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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      • Native Language:
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      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
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    #2

    Re: Please check my summary writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    One day, the author with two children went to Target with her two children to do some quick shopping. While waiting in line, she found saw an old lady ahead of her who was so slow and wanted to pay with change, a bit troublesome, but the young employee cashier still treated her patiently and with dignity. kindly. Seeing that, the author was deeply touched by his kindness and patience, and was really grateful to him for giving her children and her a precious life lesson.
    .

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