[Cover Letter] Please kindly correct my cover letter for another summer school

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shapol46

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I am writing to express my interest in your summer school course “XX”.
I have completed both my bachelor's degree in Cell & Molecular Biology and my master's degree in Molecular Genetics, at two of X’s top universities, and I do have a deep interest in my majors. I also have 6 years’ experience in teaching high school biology. This has helped me to develop strong leadership and communication skills, as well as given me a different perspective on learning and the life sciences. However, that does not satisfy my passion and my deep desire to conduct research and make a contribution in the field of translational biology.
For my master's thesis, interested in helping improve diagnostic prospects and cure diseases in which genetics play a role, I decided to focus my master's thesis on the autoimmune disease Henoch-Schonlein purpura which is a rare inflammatory disease but the most common forms of systemic vasculitis in children. However, I am wondering my aim to bring the result to patient’s bedside ever could be realized and I think like many millions published clinical research it would not be useful.
Therefore, I am eager to participate in your summer school, because of its excellent reputation and eminent researchers and to become acquainted with professional-level translational research activities and to learn how to conduct research that has an impact on human health and translating it into practice. I aim to start my PhD in fall 2017, and this program will give me a broad insight into many aspects of the world of translational medicine and therefore help me to do a useful clinical research for my PhD project. So, it is so obvious that this summer school is invaluable for me and for my future endeavors.
Thank you for taking the time to review my credentials, and I look forward to hearing from you.
 

teechar

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I am writing to express my interest in your ABCD summer school course. [STRIKE]“XX”.[/STRIKE]
I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] completed both my bachelor's degree in Cell & Molecular Biology and my master's degree in Molecular Genetics, at two of X’s top universities, and I do have a deep interest in my majors. I also have six years’ experience in teaching high school biology. This has helped me to develop strong leadership and communication skills, as well as given me a different perspective on learning and the life sciences. However, [STRIKE]that does not satisfy my[/STRIKE] I have a strong passion and [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] deep desire to conduct research and make a contribution in the field of translational biology.

For my master's thesis, because of my interest in helping improve diagnostic prospects and cure diseases in which genetics play a role, I decided to focus my [STRIKE]master's thesis[/STRIKE] research on the autoimmune disease Henoch-Schonlein purpura, which is a rare inflammatory disease but the most common form of systemic vasculitis in children. However, I am wondering my aim to bring the result to patient’s bedside ever could be realized and I think like many millions published clinical research it would not be useful.

Therefore, I am eager to participate in your summer school, because of its excellent reputation and eminent researchers and to become acquainted with professional-level translational research activities and to learn how to conduct research that has a direct positive impact on human health. [STRIKE]and translating it into practice.[/STRIKE] I aim to start my PhD in fall 2017, and this program will give me a broad insight into many aspects of the world of translational medicine and, therefore, help me to do a useful clinical research for my PhD project. [STRIKE]So, it is so obvious that this summer school is invaluable for me and for my future endeavors.[/STRIKE]
Thank you for taking the time to review my credentials, and I look forward to hearing from you.
I don't understand the text highlighted in blue.
 

shapol46

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Thank you so much dear Teechar. I really appreciate that you take so much time to correct my text as well as others.
Well, this course is about why our research in lab usually fail to bring benefit in clinic and therefore, patients cannot get benefit from those research, However, the first aim of those research it that. So, by this sentence "I am wondering my aim to bring the result to patient’s bedside ever could be realized and I think like many millions published clinical research it would not be useful".
I want to say that although I wish it doesn't, my own research going to have the same fate like many other research. (So that's why I want to participate in their course. In order to do useful research for my PhD. By useful I mean patients get advantage from that.
 

teechar

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However, I worry that my research may end up gathering dust like countless other published clinical studies and would not be directly useful to patients.

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I aim to start my PhD in fall 2017, and this program will give me a broad insight into many aspects of the world of translational medicine and, therefore, help me to conduct a successful and useful clinical research project for my PhD.
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