Please correct my motivation letter

[shurakov]

Dear Sir or Madam, Three years ago I have been studied geography at Academic Gymnasium and have no idea what I will do in the future. I am thinking about ecology, sociology, management or philosophy. I have chosen philosophy. And now I am sure about my life. I will be a professor at university. But modern professor have to speak a lot of languages and have to connect with other academics all over the world. Participation in exchange program is a little step for future professor and a great step for me. I choose Vilnius University for a number of reasons. Firstly, Vilnius University has strong academic reputation among Russian academic society, because lots of great scientists worked in Russia and Lithuania during their life. For example, brilliant Russian historian and philosopher Lev Karsavin, who graduated from Saint-Petersburg University and worked for a long time in my alma mater, spent more than 20 years in Lithuania. As philosophy student, I would be proud to visit places connected with him. Secondly, I am going to take courses that will make my education complete. Unfortunately, some necessary parts of modern philosophy are not presented in my study plan. Now I write term paper about Frank Jackson`s Knowledge Argument and discussion about it in Philosophy of Mind. I think that the course Philosophy of Mind at Vilnius University will help me to understand my theme better. Also, this course and some others will be very useful for my BA thesis.Thirdly, Semester in Vilnius University is a great way to find new friends and explore new culture. I meet some Vilnius University students Diana, Linaand Bachi who spent previous semester in Saint-Petersburg State University. They told me about Vilnius, University, other students, libraries, dormitories and many other things. The most interesting part of their talking was about international students from all continents. So, I really want to meet new people and I know a wonderful place to do it. I will be thankful for opportunity to share my ideas with other people during my exchange semester. It is important for me to collect different views on the same philosophical problem such as consciousness because it may help to find deeper view and get new results. But why I am sure that I am suitable for Vilnius University? I am highly motivated and understand how this program will help me. Moreover, I have strong academic background. I have good average grade point and have an experience of public presentation of my science work. I made a report for XIX conference «God, Man, World» in December 2016 Also, I am easy-going and open-minded person. I like to talk and to hear other people. Finally, I can be ambassador of Vilnius University after my semester abroad. I may help other students to discover Lithuania as an interesting place for exchange or getting master degree.Thank you for considering my application.Yours sincerely,Nikolai Shurakov

 

[Tdol]

It's unreadable as it stands. Try putting some paragraphs in first.

 

[teechar]

Three years ago I [STRIKE]have been[/STRIKE] studied geography at Academic Gymnasium

Do you mean that you finished high school three years ago?

my alma mater,

Have you already completed your undergraduate?

I am going to take courses that will make my education complete. Unfortunately, some necessary parts of modern philosophy are not presented in my study plan.

and discussion about it in Philosophy of Mind.

have an experience of public presentation of my science work.

I don't understand the above.