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    #1

    While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    I am wondering if my sentences sound natural. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    While hiking in the mountains, Bob came came across a spring. He scooped his hands into the crystal clear water, brought it to his dry lips and drank.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    We don't "scoop our hands into water". We scoop water into our mouths using our hands.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    I used "scoop" because I do not know other word to describe the form of the "scoop". If you want to take water from a spring with your hands, you have to keep them together in the form of a scoop.

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    #4

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    Could I write like this:
    He cupped his hands into the crystal clear water, brought it to his dry lips and drunk.

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    #5

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    The problem is the combination of "scooped/cupped hands" and "into".

    Either "He scooped water from the spring and drank it" or "He cupped his hands, dipped them into the water and drank ...".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #6

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    He could dip his cupped hands​ into the water.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    GoesStation,

    I am wondering about the following sentence if I use your version. Would my sentence be correct like this?

    He dipped his cupped hands into the crystal clear water, brought it to his dry lips and drank.


    or should it be brought them (meaning cupped hands) like this:
    He dipped his cupped hands into the crystal clear water, brought them to his dry lips and drank.

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    #8

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    Them works better. The reader will wonder why two hands are now one if you use ​it.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #9

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    GoesStation,
    I used "it" meaning the water. But probably that does not sound well in my sentence.

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    #10

    Re: While hiking in the mountains, Bob came across

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    GoesStation,
    I used "it" meaning the water ​but probably that does not sound well good in my sentence.
    See above. A word in a sentence can sound "good/bad" or it can work "well/badly" but it can't "sound well".

    You're right that using "it" to denote the water in your sentence doesn't work. It makes it sound as if he brought the entire spring to his mouth. You don't need to describe the action in minute detail. If you say "He dipped his cupped hands into the crystal clear water, brought them to his lips and drank", readers will understand exactly what he did.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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