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  1. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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    #21

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    point 2 from post 5 "They clean the tank up of organics such as uneaten fish food and fish feces."

    I see, this is going to be hard. Can I change it to "they clean the tank up of organic pollutants" instead?

    So I can go into detail on what organics are and how organics are bad.

    I got a lot to learn about researching and elaborating, sorry for the questions. I will try to copy on what I did for the last paragraph.

    Should I start a new thread or is this one fine?


    Last edited by DrBlueThumb; 19-May-2017 at 18:02.

  2. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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    #22

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    I have this so far:

    Phytoplankton and copepods clean the aquarium up of organics and inorganics before they turn into nuisence algae.

    Not sure if I can use that as a topic sentence?

    Or

    "Phytoplankton and copepods clean the aquarium of nuisence algae"

    I could write on phytoplankton which is a desireable algae and on how it competes with other algae which can be a nuisence. Also on how copepods consume the organics such as fish feces before it breaks down into phophate and nitrate contributing to nuisence algae outbreak.
    Last edited by DrBlueThumb; 23-May-2017 at 16:24.

  3. teechar's Avatar
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    #23

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    Quote Originally Posted by DrBlueThumb View Post
    Point 2 from post 5 "They clean the tank up of organics such as uneaten fish food and fish feces."

    I see. This is going to be hard. Can I change it to "they clean the tank up of organic pollutants" instead?

    Of course! It's your essay, after all!

    Quote Originally Posted by DrBlueThumb View Post
    So I can go into detail on what organics are and how organics are bad.
    Sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by DrBlueThumb View Post
    I got a lot to learn about researching and elaborating, sorry for the questions. I will try to copy on what I did for the last paragraph.

    Should I start a new thread or is this one fine?
    This one is fine. It's still the same essay.

  4. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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    #24

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    I'm going to use this as a topic sentence:

    Phytoplankton and copepods consume organic and inorganics before they turn into nuisence algae.


    I hope it is useable as a topic sentence?

  5. teechar's Avatar
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    #25

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    I actually prefer the original. It's broader and gives you the scope to say all that. Try it!

  6. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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    #26

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    Not sure if it is coherent or is unified, but I tried. This is raw from hand written on paper, to typed out on this forum:

    They clean the aquarium up of organics such as uneaten fish food and feces. Organics are a wide variety of living or dead plant and animal material consisting of proteins, carbohydrates, fats and nucleic acids. Organics come in a wide range of forms consisting of detritus which is the scientific term used for particulate matter and it also comes in a dissolved form refered to as D.O.M or "dissolved organics matter". Organics can be so abundant that even in it's dissolved form, it can become suspended and so dense that it blocks the light, this blocking of light which is an organisms source of energy for phytosynthesis, limits their growth and health. Also dissolved oxygen levels may be used up causing a depletion of oxygen and having severe consequences on the marine animals and plants as well. Over feeding fish food leads to an increase in bacterial colonies growth, this growth causes gases, which are then released leaving a smelly foul odor. For these reasons, organics such as fish feces and over feeding should be controlled.

    I have been reading about how to write and so far I came up with an acronym, C.U.T.A:

    Coherence

    Unity

    Topic sentence

    Adequate Development
    Last edited by DrBlueThumb; 25-May-2017 at 14:13.

  7. teechar's Avatar
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    #27

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    Quote Originally Posted by DrBlueThumb View Post
    They clean the aquarium up of organics such as uneaten fish food and feces. Organics are a wide variety of living or dead plant and animal material consisting of proteins, carbohydrates, fats and nucleic acids. Organics come in a wide range of forms consisting of detritus which is the scientific term used for particulate matter, and it they also come in a dissolved form referred to as D.O.M. or "dissolved organic matter". Organics can be so abundant that even in it's the dissolved form, it they can become suspended and so dense that it they block the light, and this blocking of light which is an organisms source of energy for impedes the process of phytosynthesis, limits their growth and adversely affects health. Also, dissolved oxygen levels may be quickly depleted by the accumulation of organics, and leads to used up causing a depletion of oxygen and having severe consequences on for the marine animals and plants as well. Moreover, overfeeding with artificial fish food leads to an increase in the growth of bacterial colonies, growth, this growth which in turn causes the production of various gases, which are then released, leaving a smelly foul odor. For these reasons, organics such as fish feces and over feeding should be controlled.
    At the end of this paragraph, you need to get back to the main point of it, viz. that live phytoplankton and copepeds can clean up these organics, and explain a little how they do that.

  8. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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    #28

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    I don't know if I need to change the topic sentence? so that the information makes sense. but, I made a mistake by saying phytoplankton consumes organics when they do not. but they do consume inroganics which is the byproduct of organics.

    "In conclusion phytoplankton indirectly eliminate organics from over feeding and fish feces through consuming it's byproduct inorganics, and copepods directly eat these organics."

    Not sure if I should change the topic sentence? or come up with a better closing sentence? or maybe change the info in the body? or a combo?

    coherence is hard, lol. and unity is like a puzzle.
    Last edited by DrBlueThumb; 26-May-2017 at 15:48.

  9. teechar's Avatar
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    #29

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    You can modify the topic sentence to widen the scope.
    "They clean the aquarium by removing organics and their byproducts including uneaten fish food and feces."

  10. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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    #30

    Re: Persuasive and informative essay

    They clean the aquarium by removing organics including uneaten fish food, animal waste and their byproduct inorganics. Organics are a wide variety of living plant and animal material consisting of proteins, carbohydrates, fats and nucleic acids. Their byproduct is refered to as inorganics which is the broken down matter of organics, consisting of phosphate, nitrate and ammonia. The accumalation of unconsumed organics, ultimately leads to the build of of inorganics. Inorganics contribute to the outbreak of nuisence algae, this nuisence algae blocks the light and impedes the process of photosynthesis, which limits growth and adversely affects marine organisms such as coral, sponges and benfitial plants. The build up of organics such as uneaten fish food and animals waste leads to the reduction of dissolved oxygen levels which have severe consequences as well. Furthermore the increase in organics lead to an increase in the growth of bacterial colonies, which in turn causes the production of various gases, which are then released, leaving a foul odor. Phytoplankton directly consume inorganics through photosynthesis while copepods directly eat organics before being turned into inorganics, this removes organics and inorganics from the aquarium.
    Last edited by DrBlueThumb; 30-May-2017 at 14:50.

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