It's OK, but I see no real reason for the past perfect. You have a simple sequence of events there.

Student or Learner
I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. Is it correct with the past perfect in the first sentence, or should it be the simple past?
In a pub brawl, someone had hit Peter on the mouth. He went to the toilet, looked in the mirror, and saw a large bruise forming.
It's OK, but I see no real reason for the past perfect. You have a simple sequence of events there.
I'd say "hit him in the mouth". It's odd, I know, but we use "on the nose" but "in the eye/mouth".
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.
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