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  1. hai_lua_t2's Avatar
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      • Vietnam
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    #1

    Please correct my letter

    Dear Mr. ABC,

    I am John who is using the community hall along with other musicians every Friday night. The hall is a really good place for Jazz shows for community. We get many supports as well as many requests come to us to make the shows more often. People are very interested in Jazz and the shows help us connect people closer and closer in town. We are trying to maintain and improve those activities as much as we can.

    However, the new decision from people committee does not allow us to use the hall anymore. It is going to cause many difficulties since we would not find a good place for music as the hall. Moreover, I am afraid that we have to stop the shows. It is really a regret if we don't have the shows for community. I'm thinking the new way to use the hall if it is possible. I suggest to use it on Tuesday and Thursday in the late evening, after all other activities stopped.

    I hope that you will accept my idea or any other solution which allow us to use the hall is really appreciated. I believe that the shows with high quality will come in the future if we can do on the hall.

    I am looking forward to hearing from you.

    Yours faithfully,

    John
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 22-May-2017 at 16:38. Reason: Removed unnecessary extra breaks between paragraphs.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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    #2

    Re: Please correct my letter

    Quote Originally Posted by hai_lua_t2 View Post
    Dear Mr. ABC,

    I am John who is using and I use the community hall along with other musicians every Friday night. The hall is a really good place for jazz shows for community. We get many supports a lot of support as well as many requests come to asking us to make put on/stage the shows more often. People are very interested in jazz and the shows help us connect bring people closer and closer in the town closer together. We are trying to maintain and improve those these activities as much as we can.

    However, the new decision from people committee does not has decided not to allow us to use the hall anymore. It is going to cause many difficulties a lot of problems since because we would not be able to find such a good place for music as the hall. Moreover As a result, I am afraid fear that we will have to stop the shows completely. It is really a regret It would be a real shame if we don't have couldn't put on the shows for community. I'm thinking wondering if the new there is some way for us to use the hall. if it is possible. I suggest Would it be possible for us to use it on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the late evening, after all other activities stopped have finished?

    I hope that you will accept my idea or any or that we can find another solution which will allow us to use the hall. is really appreciated. I believe that the high quality shows with high quality will come happen in the future if we can do on sort something out with the hall.

    I am looking forward to hearing from you.

    Yours faithfully,

    John
    See above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. hai_lua_t2's Avatar
    Junior Member
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      • Vietnamese
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      • Vietnam
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      • Vietnam

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 45
    #3

    Re: Please correct my letter

    Dear Teacher,

    I'm very sorry for many mistakes. However, there are some points I would like to have a deeper understanding.

    I am John who is using and I use the community ==> I don't know why we shouldn't use relative pronoun here
    I am afraidfear that ==> What is the difference between "be afraid" vs fear? As my understanding, the meaning is the same.

    Thanks a lot!

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