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  1. ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    #1

    "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool wind. B

    Is the use of 'besides' correct here and is the cohesion of the sentences appropriate?

    "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool wind. Besides, the sky might be cloudy."
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 27-May-2017 at 20:25.

  2. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    No, that doesn't work.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

  3. ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    Quote Originally Posted by bhaisahab View Post
    No, that doesn't work.
    I think it is because there is not something surprising to put in the besides part.

    How I can fix it?
    Is the following correct?

    I love fall. It has become my favorite season for years because I enjoy it when there is often a gentle rain and also a cool and light breeze blowing. Besides, I feel more lively, energetic and active during this season.

  4. Senior Member
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    #4

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    It's worse. I suggest you try to compress the OP into 1 sentence.

  5. ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    Quote Originally Posted by andrewg927 View Post
    It's worse. I suggest you try to compress the OP into 1 sentence.
    What does OP mean?
    Which part is worse? My vocabulary, or my grammar?

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    #6

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    OP means Original Post (post #1).

    Your post 3 contains too many words. In post 1, your use of "besides" is awkward. Try to see if you can combine two sentences in post 1 into one sentence.

  7. ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    Quote Originally Posted by andrewg927 View Post
    OP means Original Post (post #1).

    Your post 3 contains too many words. In post 1, your use of "besides" is awkward. Try to see if you can combine two sentences in post 1 into one sentence.
    I am trying to leave some words of post #3 out:
    Fall has become my favorite season for years because there is often a gentle rain and light breeze blowing. Besides, I feel more energetic during this season.

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    At least two responses have pointed out that "Besides" doesn't really work in this context. Just use "Also" or combine all the ideas into one sentence (which has also been suggested).
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    At least two responses have pointed out that "Besides" doesn't really work in this context. Just use "Also" or combine all the ideas into one sentence (which has also been suggested).
    http://learnersdictionary.com/definition/besides
    Two examples from Merriam Dictionary:

    • The play is excellent, and besides [=(more formally) furthermore, moreover], the tickets don't cost much.
    • I'm not ready to get married yet. Besides, I enjoy living alone.


    Now, I don't know why I can't use 'besides' in my own example.
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 28-May-2017 at 12:40.

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    #10

    Re: "I like fall because there is occasionally a gentle rain and a light and cool win

    Part of the reason why it is so difficult to fix your sentence is because the sentence somehow doesn't click with me. Something about it just doesn't make sense to me. Let's see what other people think.

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