Correct my letter please.

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Tsoglog

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I am hoping that your department would review and assess my materials and assess it with a high enough regard for my abilities to write a general recommendation for my scholarship application to other universities.
I’m willing to enroll at other universities with the similar program if, in case that my applied program is not accepted.
Please let me know if you are comfortable endorsing my candidacy for the scholarship. I would be happy to answer any questions and provide further information which will help you to write your recommendation.

Thanks so much for all of your hard work done for me and for taking the time to review this request.

 
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emsr2d2

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I am hoping that your department would reviewand assess my materials and assess it with a high enough regard for myabilities to write a general recommendation for my scholarship application toother universities.
I’m willing to enroll at other universities withthe similar program if, in case that my applied program is not accepted.
Please let me know if you are comfortableendorsing my candidacy for the scholarship. I would be happy to answerany questions and provide further information which will help you to write yourrecommendation.

Thanks so much for all of your hard work donefor me and for taking the time to review this request.


I have marked in red all the instances where copying and pasting your text has resulted in missing spaces. Please click on Edit Post and insert all those missing spaces before we continue.
 

Tsoglog

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teechar

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I am hoping that your department would review and assess my materials and assess it with a high enough regard for my abilities to write a general recommendation for my scholarship application to other universities. [That sounds very demanding and impolite. Who are you writing this to?]
I’m willing to enroll at other universities with the similar program if, in case that my applied program is not accepted.
Please let me know if you are comfortable endorsing my candidacy for the scholarship. I would be happy to answer any questions and provide further information which will help you to write your recommendation.

Thanks so much for all of your hard work done for me and for taking the time to review this request.

I suggest you rewrite it in a simpler and more direct manner.
 

Tsoglog

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To an embassy in my country.
Thank you for your quick reply, very much appreciated.
 
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