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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as

    Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentence? Could my sentence be improved?

    Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as on the London underground, surrounded by the passengers who looked away whenever you looked at them, felt uncomfortable if you caught their eye, and avoided contact of any kind.

  2. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentence? Could my sentence be improved?

    Nowhere else did Peter feel so alone as on the London underground, surrounded by passengers who looked away whenever you looked at them, who felt uncomfortable if you caught their eye, and avoided contact of any kind.
    My suggestions. I can't help feeling, though, that it would be better broken up into two sentences.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as

    Say:

    Nowhere else did Peter feel so alone as on the London underground, surrounded by people who looked away whenever he looked at them, felt uncomfortable if he caught their eye, and avoided social contact of any kind.

  4. VIP Member
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    #4

    Re: Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as

    I will write my sentence again after bhaisahab's corrections and suggestion.

    Nowhere else did Peter feel so alone as on the London underground, surrounded by passengers who looked away whenever you looked at them. They felt uncomfortable if you caught their eye, and avoided contact of any kind.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as

    When I am on the bus I think of the other people on the bus as people first and passengers second.

  6. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #6

    Re: Nowhere else Peter felt so alone as

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    London underground
    I'd capitalise Underground.

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