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  1. newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    #1

    Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually planned

    Hi,
    Could anyone check this context for any mistakes? I have rewritten in many time and made some changes. However, I am not sure if it is OK or not.

    "Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually planned on taking a holiday twice a year.
    We also used to go to the seaside almost most weekends as we owned a beautiful home vacation by the sea and we could go to the beach everyday.
    It was in North of Iran where we usually spend our holidays because it was and still is one of the most popular vacation spots in Iran where a lot of people enjoyed spending time around the beach, strolling along the shore, lying and sunbathing on the beach."


    Thanks so much.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually pla

    Quote Originally Posted by newkeenlearner View Post
    "Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually planned on taking a holiday twice a year.
    [Grammatical, but not logical. Your parents planning on a holiday twice a year is not an explanation for why your vacations were a high point.]
    We also used to go to the seaside almost most weekends as we owned a beautiful vacation home by the sea and we could go to the beach everyday. Most = almost every (here).
    It was in the north of Iran where [I'd use 'that'] we usually spend our holidays because it was, and still is, one of the most popular vacation spots in Iran, where a lot of people enjoyed (they still do) spending time around the beach, strolling along the shore, lying and sunbathing on the beach."
    Be careful with 'because'. The last sentence doesn't follow logically either. It reads as if you only went there because it's popular, regardless of whether you actually enjoyed it.
    Your grammar's good. The comma after 'Iran' signifies that this is a non-defining clause.

  3. newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually pla

    Be careful with 'because'. The last sentence doesn't follow logically either. It reads as if you only went there because it's popular, regardless of whether you actually enjoyed it.
    Your grammar's good. The comma after 'Iran' signifies that this is a non-defining clause.
    Thanks for your great informative information. I have made mentioned changes as following:

    Family vacations were a high point in my childhood. I can clearly remember that my parents occasionally planned on going on a trip twice or three times a year, and we often used to go to the seaside most weekends because we owned a beautiful vacation home by the sea, and we could go to the beach everyday.
    It was in the north of Iran that we preferred to spent our holidays, especially summer holidays. It was, and still is, one of the most popular holiday spots in Iran, where a lot of people enjoy spending time around the beach, strolling along the shore, and lying and sunbathing on the beach.

  4. newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually pla

    Your grammar's good.
    Thanks so much. Your comment makes me feel so happy. I have tried to improve it more.
    "Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually planned on taking a holiday twice a year.
    [Grammatical, but not logical. Your parents planning on a holiday twice a year is not an explanation for why your vacations were a high point.]

    I sometimes have difficulty establishing logical relationships between my ideas within a paragraph. I don't know how I can solve or at least improve it.

    Can the following make sense: (I am thinking about this for 1 hour )
    Family vacations were a high point in my childhood as/because my parents always wanted to form and also strength a close bond between members of family by spending time with each other.
    Last edited by newkeenlearner; 30-May-2017 at 17:53.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually pla

    Quote Originally Posted by newkeenlearner View Post
    Could anyone someone check this context paragraph for any mistakes? I have rewritten in it many times and made some changes.
    See above.

    Also, saying you have rewritten it and made some changes is tautologous. The act of rewriting something already suggests making changes to it.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. Raymott's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Family vacations were a high point in my childhood because my parents usually pla

    Quote Originally Posted by newkeenlearner View Post
    Family vacations were a high point in my childhood as/because my parents always wanted managed to form and also strengthen a close bond between members of the family by spending time with each other.
    That's an improvement. Your vacations were a high point because your parents always managed to strengthen family bonds during the vacations.

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