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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Please correct my cover letter

    Hi teachers,

    Could you please help me correct this cover letter? Thank you very much!
    ---------------------------------------

    Dear Hiring Manager,

    As a highly motivated and dedicated student with strong problem solving skill and the willingness to learn, I would like to apply for the PHP Fresher Program.

    Although I just nearly graduate from university, I still have knowledge in programming, especially web development through years of studying as well as the fact that I have been educating myself with necessary knowledge in this field.

    These experiences have allowed me to developed strong problem solving and organizational skills, which I see as being very important when seeking to work in IT employment while continuing to study.

    Personal attributes that I believe make me suitable for this position include:

    - Motivation: Teach myself PHP, MySQL, Javascript and other related skills demonstrate high motivation.
    - Problem-solving: Build a whole website using all the knowledge I have learnt on my own.

    During my time at the university, I also had opportunities to work with others and help them out where possible. I enjoy working with others and believe that my skills will ensure that I can meet the expectations of this role.

    I am aware that you will receive a large number of applications for this program, but I would very much appreciate the opportunity to demonstrate my capabilities to you in person.

    Attached is a copy of my resume that further explains my background and technical skills. I can be reached anytime via my cell phone,... or via email at... Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you more about this opportunity.

    Best Regards,

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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    • Join Date: Feb 2015
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    #2

    Re: Please correct my cover letter

    Quote Originally Posted by huynguyen158 View Post

    Dear Hiring Manager,

    As a highly motivated and dedicated student with strong problem-solving skills and the willingness to learn, I would like to apply for the PHP Fresher Program. [Are you sure that name is correct?]

    Although I just nearly graduate [What does that mean?] from university, I still have knowledge in programming, especially web development through years of studying as well as the fact that I have been educating myself with necessary knowledge in this field.

    These experiences have allowed me to develop ed strong problem solving analytical and organizational skills, which I see as being very important when seeking to work in IT employment while continuing to study.

    My personal attributes that I believe make me suitable for this position include:

    - Motivation: I have taught Teach myself PHP, MySQL, Javascript and other related technologies. skills demonstrate high motivation.
    - Problem-solving: Build a whole I designed and built an entire website using all the knowledge I have learnt acquired on my own.

    During my time at the university, I also had opportunities to work with others on several team projects. I always did my best to contribute to the success of the team's work. and help them out where possible. I enjoy working with others and believe that my skills will ensure that I can meet the expectations of succeed in this role.

    I am aware that you will receive a large number of applications for this program, but I would very much appreciate the opportunity to demonstrate my capabilities to you in person.

    Attached is a copy of my resume that further explains my background and technical skills. I can be reached anytime via my cell phone,... or via email at...

    Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to speaking with you more about this opportunity.

    Best Regards,

    Yours faithfully,

    Huy Nguyen
    Can you not say a little more about your suitability for this particular (PHP) job?

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: Please correct my cover letter

    Hi, teechar. Thank you very much for your help!
    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    [Are you sure that name is correct?]
    Yes. Maybe the term is not totally correct but I see it is used a lot when it comes to job interview to mean 'beginner at any given topic'. Here is the definition from Quora:

    fresher = Fresh out of Education, with No Experience.

    So if I want to express that way, which word would be the correct one?

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    [What does that mean?]
    I should have said I haven't graduated yet. Do you think it's clearer?


    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Can you not say a little more about your suitability for this particular (PHP) job?
    So you mean it's better not to mention too much about suitability? But I thought it's important to describe why a candidate would be suitable for the particular job in the cover letter? I'm a little confused.
    Last edited by huynguyen158; 15-Jun-2017 at 07:55.

  4. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • Iraq
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    #4

    Re: Please correct my cover letter

    Quote Originally Posted by huynguyen158 View Post
    Hi, teechar. Thank you very much for your help!
    Yes. Maybe the term is not totally correct but I see it is used a lot when it comes to job interview to mean 'beginner at any given topic'. Here is the definition from Quora:
    fresher = Fresh out of Education, with No Experience.
    So if I want to express that way, which word would be the correct one?
    No. Just use the exact name of the course.

    Quote Originally Posted by huynguyen158 View Post
    I should have said I haven't graduated yet. Do you think it's clearer?
    Although I haven't yet graduated, my knowledge in programming is solid, especially in web development. This is the result of years of formal study as well as the fact that I have been teaching myself various concepts and technologies in this field.

    Quote Originally Posted by huynguyen158 View Post
    So you mean it's better not to mention too much about suitability? But I thought it's important to describe why a candidate would be suitable for the particular job in the cover letter? I'm a little confused.
    No! I meant the exact opposite! I was suggesting that you write more.

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