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  1. #1
    contiluo is offline Member
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    phony/poser

    Please help me make the paragraphs below sound natural. Thanks a lot.

    Hello! I’m Vicky. I am a short girl, so my classmates always like to play jokes on me about it by saying “You will never grow taller anymore!”, but I believe I will be getting taller by eating right, getting plenty of sleep, and exercising my body I am an Aries. As everyone thinks, this kind of people is prone to be rather impulsive fiery-tempered, and I am not an exception. However, it’s not good to be easily angered. I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I blow up.

    I have a distinctive, musical, and pleasant voice that is appealing to most listeners’ ears. When people heard my voice at the first time, most of them would say, “Is that her real voice?” They even thought that I was acting. Few days later, they did believe that it was my genuine voice because no one can act all day. I don’t like to be misunderstood because I’m not such a phony/poser. I am happy that people around me believe me and accept my natural voice.

  2. #2
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: phony/poser

    Who wrote this, and how old is this girl?

  3. #3
    contiluo is offline Member
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    Re: phony/poser

    She is a 15-year-old girl who wrote this self introduction.

  4. #4
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: phony/poser

    Quote Originally Posted by contiluo View Post
    She is A 15-year-old girl who wrote this self introduction.
    If she's a student of yours, I suggest you find out whether she's being bullied at school, and if so, immediately take steps to stop it. It is your responsibility as a teacher to protect your students from aggression and bullying. You need to explain to her that it is completely unacceptable to tease people about anything, including their stature or physique. I was alarmed when I read the first part. In fact, that kind of thing could be an indirect (subconscious) cry for help. Please talk to that girl and find out more! Post back, and I'll be delighted to help you and her with writing.

  5. #5
    contiluo is offline Member
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    Re: phony/poser

    Thanks for your sincere suggestion. The girl is not being bullied at school. Actually, she gets along well with her classmates and always have a nice smile. She is a helpful, cheerful girl. She was short before, but now is getting much taller than what she used to be. She is a people person and everyone likes her; however, I just don't understand why she describes herself as an easily angered girl. On the other hand, she possesses a unique, distinctive, but pleasant voice which is very sweet-sounding. The speciality of her voice, however, becomes her strength, especially when she does an oral reading or gives a speech. Perhaps she is influenced by the sub-culture of junior high school, so she writes it in a comical tone.

  6. #6
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: phony/poser

    Quote Originally Posted by contiluo View Post
    Hello! I’m Vicky. I am a little short, girl, so and some of my classmates always like to play jokes on me tease me about it by saying “You will never grow taller anymore!”, but I believe I will be get/grow ting taller by eating right, getting plenty of sleep, and exercising my body. I am an Aries and so can As everyone thinks, this kind of people is prone to be rather impulsive and fiery-tempered. , and I am not an exception. However, it’s not good to be easily angered. I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and about to blow up.

    I have a distinctive, musical, and pleasant voice that is appealing to most listeners’ ears. When people hear my voice at for the first time, most (of them) would say, “Is that her real voice?” They even thought suspect that I was acting. After a while, Few days later, they did believe accept that it was my is genuinely my voice because no one can act all day. I don’t like to be misunderstood, because I’m not such a phony or a poser. I am happy that people around me believe me and accept my natural voice.
    .

  7. #7
    yi-ing is offline Senior Member
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    Re: phony/poser

    However, it’s not good to be easily angered. I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and about to blow up.
    The mentioned bold sentence is a little bit confusing. How it will be like if we are expanding it? Do the following make any sense?
    I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and (when I start feeling) about to blow up.

    Is "Feeling about to do something" a common expression? what does it mean?

  8. #8
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: phony/poser

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    The mentioned bold sentence is a little bit confusing. How it will it be like if we are expand ing it? Do the following make any sense?

    I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and (when I start feeling) when I am about to blow up.
    The red part is implied. Note the parallel "start" and "am" in the present simple.

  9. #9
    yi-ing is offline Senior Member
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    Re: phony/poser

    So interesting point !
    Can we remove "to be" verb completely in parallel structure? I didn't know about it before.

    Here, Do 'when' imply here?
    I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and I am about to blow up.

    And is the following is wrong?
    I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and am about to blow up.
    Last edited by yi-ing; 13-Jun-2017 at 12:04.

  10. #10
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: phony/poser

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    That's an So interesting point! [or "What an interesting point!"]
    Can we remove "to be" verb completely in parallel structures? I didn't know about it before.
    It's possible in the above.

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    Here, Do 'when' imply here?
    Is "when" implied before "I am" in the sentence below?
    I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and I am about to blow up.
    Yes, it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    And is the following is wrong?
    I always keep reminding myself to calm down when I start feeling irritated and am about to blow up.
    No, it's not wrong.
    Last edited by teechar; 13-Jun-2017 at 12:41.

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