Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,948

    A mayor who was making the speech

    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

    A mayor who was making the speech to the opening of the opera house was almost killed when the wall of the newly built building behind him collapsed above him. Emerging from the debris, covered in blood and dust, but otherwise unhurt, he promised to find the perpetrators and bring them to justice.

  2. #2
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    11,455

    Re: A mayor who was making the speech

    1- Are you talking about any mayor or a particular one?
    2- Change "making a speech to the" to "giving a speech at the".
    3- Change "newly built building to "new building".
    4- Change "collapsed above him" to "collapsed and fell on (top of) him".

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,948

    Re: A mayor who was making the speech

    I will repeat my sentences with teechar's corrections.

    The mayor who was giving a speech at the opening of the opera house was almost killed when the wall of the new building behind him collapsed and fell on top of him. Emerging from the debris, covered in blood and dust, but otherwise unhurt, he promised to find the perpetrators and bring them to justice.
    Last edited by Bassim; 11-Jun-2017 at 18:00.

  4. #4
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    11,455

    Re: A mayor who was making the speech

    Oh, I forgot to comment about "perpetrators." I would use "those responsible", unless you're talking about a deliberate crime/act of sabotage.

  5. #5
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,948

    Re: A mayor who was making the speech

    Actually, I have forgotten to add "act of sabotage" in my original sentence, and then when I posted my sentence I believed that it could be understood that the wall collapsed because of some kind of sabotage.

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    61,335

    Re: A mayor who was making the speech

    In post #3, your mayor has become a major!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •