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  1. #1
    contiluo is offline Member
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    sharing things

    Please help me make the paragraphs below sound natural. Thanks.

    Hello, everyone! My name is Stephanie. I am a fifteen-year-old girl of average height. I am a methodical person who always handles his works in a systematic way. It makes me more efficient to deal with everything. Besides, I have a generous heart. I like to share things with others. For instance, I often share cookies, candies, snacks, news, and knowledge with my friends and family. I like the feelings of sharing which makes us grateful, increases our trust, makes my life real, and means I am not alone.

    Furthermore, I like to listen to music in my free time. The types of music which I like are soft music and pop music. While I’m studying, I often like to play some soft music to help me relax so that I can concentrate more on my subject. When I am down, I like to listen to pop music, it can always cheers me up, and makes me feel better.

  2. #2
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: sharing things

    Quote Originally Posted by contiluo View Post
    Hello everyone! My name is Stephanie. I am a fifteen-year-old girl of average height. I am a methodical person who always handles his her work in a systematic way. It makes me more I am also efficient to in dealing with everything. Besides, I have a generous heart. I like to share things with others. For instance, I often share cookies, candies, snacks, news, and knowledge with my friends and family. I like the feeling of sharing, which makes us grateful, increases our trust, makes my life enjoyable, real, and means I am not alone.

    Furthermore, I like to listen to music in my free time. The types of music which I like are soft music and pop music. While Im studying, I often like to play some soft music to help me relax so that I can concentrate more on my subject. When I am down, I like to listen to pop music; it can always cheers me up and makes me feel better.
    .

  3. #3
    newkeenlearner's Avatar
    newkeenlearner is offline Senior Member
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    Re: sharing things

    I like the feeling of sharing, which makes us grateful, increases our trust, makes my life enjoyable, real, and means I am not alone.

    Is the following analysis OK?
    I like the feeling of sharing, which makes us grateful, (which) increases our trust,(which) makes my life enjoyable, and (which) means I am not alone.

  4. #4
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: sharing things

    Yes, that analysis is correct. But I've just noticed it should have been "makes my life enjoyable and real, and means I am not alone."

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