[Essay] My phobia

[ambitious-girl]

Could you please check this essay for mistakes?

I have an excessive and irrational fear of enclosed and confined places and so do many people around the world. In other words, I get claustrophobic in elevators, small rooms without any windows and other restricted and closed spaces, which all give me claustrophobia. This phobia has been developed since I was a child. I fact, I grew up with this extreme fear, which has severely affected the entire/whole of my life as a victim. I am not sure when this fear started growing, and what the cause of this phobia was. However, I know that it is becoming increasingly worse and worse. As a result/terrified with this fear, I avoid being in closed areas, going up by/going in elevators, and then I prefer taking/using stairs instead. This makes life much more difficult for victims/me when, for example, the destination is on the 10th floor and they/I have to go up stairs. As a commuter, I also can’t travel on crowded trains or subways. This adversely affects my every day life. For years, I have been struggling to overcome such fear by exposure therapy and other psychological approaches, but unfortunately my attempts to treat this problem has met with no success. This phobia can lead sufferers’ lives to much difficulty, especially those who live and work in cities.

 

[teechar]

Could you please check this essay for mistakes?

I have an excessive and irrational fear of enclosed and confined places, [STRIKE]and so do[/STRIKE] just like many other people around the world. In other words, I [STRIKE]get claustrophobic[/STRIKE] feel scared in elevators, small rooms without any windows and other restricted and closed spaces, which all give me claustrophobia. This phobia has been with me since childhood. [STRIKE]developed since I was a child.[/STRIKE] I fact, I grew up with this extreme fear which has severely affected [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my entire [STRIKE]/whole of my[/STRIKE] life. [STRIKE]as a victim.[/STRIKE] I am not sure when this fear started [STRIKE]growing,[/STRIKE] and what the cause of this phobia was. However, I know that it is becoming increasingly worse. [STRIKE]and worse.[/STRIKE] As a result, [STRIKE]/terrified with this fear[/STRIKE][STRIKE],[/STRIKE] I now avoid being in closed areas and [STRIKE]going up by/going in[/STRIKE] using elevators, [STRIKE]and then I[/STRIKE] preferring to take [STRIKE]taking/using[/STRIKE] the stairs instead. This makes life much more difficult [STRIKE]for victims/me[/STRIKE] when, for example, [STRIKE]the destination is on[/STRIKE] I need to get to the 10th floor of a building. [STRIKE]and they/I have to go up stairs. As a commuter,[/STRIKE] I also can’t travel on crowded trains or subways. This adversely affects my everyday life. For years, I have been struggling to overcome such fear by exposure therapy and other psychological approaches, but unfortunately, my attempts to [STRIKE]treat[/STRIKE] deal with this problem [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] have met with no success. This phobia can lead to plenty of difficulties in the lives of sufferers, [STRIKE]’ lives to much difficulty,[/STRIKE] especially those who live and work in crowded cities.

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[ambitious-girl]

Thanks, teechar. Could you please mark this essay?

I also have a question:

As a result, /terrified with this fear, I now avoid being in closed areas and going up by/going in using elevators, and then I preferring to take taking/using the stairs instead.

After correction:
As a result, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators, preferring to take the stairs instead.

I think in correction above, the verb "avoid" apply on "prefer" ? Is it OK? It doesn't make sense to me.

 

[teechar]

As a result, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators, preferring to take the stairs instead.

I think in correction above, the verb "avoid" [STRIKE]apply on[/STRIKE] modifies "prefer". [STRIKE]Is it OK?[/STRIKE] Am I correct. It doesn't make sense to me.

No, "avoid" does not modify "prefer." It means:
As a result, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators, and I prefer to take the stairs instead.

 

[yi-ing]

No, "avoid" does not modify "prefer."

As a result, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators, preferring to take the stairs instead.

This is your original sentence, and you have used 'preferring', though.

 

[teechar]

Yes, that's right. "Avoid" does not modify "preferring", "prefer" or any version of it!

 

[yi-ing]

Yes, that's right. "Avoid" does not modify "preferring", "prefer" or any version of it!

So what was the reason you used 'preferring' in your modified version if you meant 'I prefer' ? Is this -ing form a reduced adverb clause?


As a result, because I prefer to take the stairs instead, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators.

Then:

As a result, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators, preferring to take the stairs instead.

 

[teechar]

As a result, because I prefer to take the stairs instead, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators.

Then:

As a result, I now avoid being in closed areas and using elevators, preferring to take the stairs instead.

No. The highlighted part just means "and I prefer to take the stairs instead."

 

[yi-ing]

No. The highlighted part just means "and I prefer to take the stairs instead."

What was the rule behind this? I am so curious about it as I have never come across such grammatical form. In what situation can we use that?