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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    At the party, after winning

    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

    At the party, after winning the championship, the manager stripped to the waist, grabbed the microphone and sang in his hoarse voice.

  2. #2
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    Re: At the party, after winning

    Put "at the party" after "waist."

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: At the party, after winning

    teechar,
    Would this version be OK?

    After winning the championship, at the party, the manager stripped to the waist, grabbed the microphone and sang in his hoarse voice.

  4. #4
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    Re: At the party, after winning

    It doesn't flow well.

  5. #5
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    Re: At the party, after winning

    Is his voice hoarse all the time? If so, "his hoarse voice" is OK. If it's only hoarse at the time you're talking about (because, for example, he's been shouting and cheering), use "a hoarse voice".
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 19-Jun-2017 at 11:55. Reason: Fixed typo
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. #6
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: At the party, after winning

    emsr2d2,

    Thank you for your explanation. I didn't know about the difference between "his voice" and "a hoarse voice". His voice was hoarse at the time I am talking about, so it should be "a hoarse voice."

  7. #7
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    Re: At the party, after winning

    Yes, or you could end with "... grabbed the microphone and sang, his voice hoarse."
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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