letter for university admission (I need correction) please :(

[fulyani.w]

Dear Sir or Madam,


First of all, I want to thanks for the offer from ........ University in .............. programme. I am anxious to receive the offer letter. Yesterday I got my IELTS result and the band score is 6.0. According to the English language requirement I should have 6.5 and minimum 6.0 for each component.


This is to request for more information about English language requirement. I want to ensure that I still have a chance to be accepted in......... University with this current IELTS score and could you give me a time to make my IELTS score reach the standard. It is possible for me to use this offer letter?


Besides that I need to know the deadline for complete English language requirement. This month I want to apply ...... scholarship and I need your response to process my application in.........



Thank you in advance for your attention to my request. I look forward to receiving your response.



Yours Sincerely,

 

[teechar]

Dear Sir or Madam,

First of all, I want to thank you for the offer from ........ University in .............. programme. I am anxious to receive the offer letter.

That doesn't make sense. Have they offered you a place or not?

Yesterday, I got my IELTS result, and [STRIKE]the band[/STRIKE] my overall score is 6.0. According to the English language requirement for your course, I should have 6.5 overall and a minimum 6.0 for each component.

[STRIKE] This is to request[/STRIKE] Thus, I am writing to ask for more information about the English language requirement for the course. I want to ensure that I still have a chance to be accepted in......... University with this [STRIKE]current[/STRIKE] IELTS score

and could you give me a time to make my IELTS score reach the standard. It is possible for me to use this offer letter?

What does that mean?

[STRIKE] Besides that[/STRIKE] I also need to know the deadline [STRIKE]for complete[/STRIKE] by which I need to achieve the required IELTS score. [STRIKE]English language requirement.[/STRIKE] This month I want to apply for the ...... scholarship and I need your response to process my application for [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE].........

Thank you, [STRIKE]in advance for your attention to my request.[/STRIKE] and I look forward to [STRIKE]receiving[/STRIKE] your reply.
[STRIKE]response.[/STRIKE]

Yours faithfully, [STRIKE]Sincerely[/STRIKE],

.

 

[emsr2d2]

It sounds as if you have a conditional offer - that means that they have told you that they will offer you a place if​ you get the scores they mentioned.