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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Kurdish
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
    • Posts: 27
    #1

    Please dear Teechar kindly correct my Study plan.

    Hi dear Teechar
    I hope this be the last time, but I can't promise. You have already corrected a part of this study plan through my cover letters but this one is too long (sorry about that) and part of it is new.

    Academic Background:
    Based on my passion for genetics as well as cells, I made up my mind in high school to study cell and molecular biology at university. However, because I wanted to be financially independent, first I attended Teacher Training Center and immediately after graduation I took part in universities entrance exam and I was accepted in one of the top universities in my country in the field of cell and molecular biology.
    During my Bachelor’s, after participation in a seminar presented by a scientist worked at the University of Utah I was highly motivated about studying cancer biology for my master. Although an increase in the incidence of cancer in my hometown, was another reason and I hoped my research help to deepen the understanding of mechanisms of some cancers in future.
    I would like to mention that during my bachelor's I worked as a school administrator four days a week, and I commuted more than four hours a day and still found time to participate in English classes and go to the gym and still remain in the top five percent of students in my class and I graduated with a GPA of 3.8/4.0. I as well got the best result in master entrance exam among not only my classmates but also 120 students studied different branches of biology at the department of biology.
    However, although I was accepted in one of the top universities in my country, a lack of research facilities forced me to change my subject of interest. Hence, interested in helping improve diagnostic prospects and cure diseases in which genetics play a role as well as being passionate about immunology, I decided to focus my master's thesis on the autoimmune disease XX. This gave me a strong background in immune system function, and it reinforced my interest in pursuing research into the role of the immune system in cancer initiation and progression and immuno-oncology.
    I wish to point out that during my master's, I traveled hundreds of kilometers by bus every week to attend university and worked for four days a week in the laboratory, regularly attended the hospital to collect blood sample, participated in translation the 5th edition of Molecular Biology of the Cell, (Albert’s) and I taught biology in high school for three days and still remain in the top five percent of students in my class and defended my dissertation on the expected time. The reason was my ambition for studying and research.
    My Personality:
    Apart from being hardworking, my commitment, responsibility and motivation are among my positive aspects. These features are evidenced by working full-time while studying during all the years of my bachelor's and master's and still remaining among the top students in my class.
    Working for several years as a school administrator and elementary and biology teacher has not only has given me a different perspective on learning and the life sciences but also has helped me develop strong leadership and communication skills.
    I am also very concerned about the environment and I am a member of Eco-Friendly Group that undertakes activities to help clean and conserve the environment in my hometown. Usually two weekends per month we have cleanup day and pick up litter around our town.
    Study Plan in China:
    I would like to apply for your “XX” PhD program. I believe this program precisely fits my study plans and is in line with my career aspirations.
    My research interests cover a range of issues, many of which fall within the scope of immune- oncology and translational medicine.
    I enjoy problem-solving and I am highly interested in studying about the different mechanisms cause the normal cells become cancerous cells, the role of cancer stem cells and their microenvironment in tumor growth, recurrence and metastasis. I am particularly interested in the mechanisms that cancerous cells escape from immune system either cells of the immune system in our body or those laboratory-manufactured T-cells.
    Doing research is a part of solving the problem but translation of the research to the clinic is as much important. Each year thousands of reports about the cancer publish in peer review journals but we don’t see their effect on patient’s bedside. I want to do research in order to bring direct benefit for patients that’s why I apply for this PhD program. The laboratory that I aim to join is located in the XX University, where we can be in contact with patients and I believe that makes our effort harder to see the results of our study.
    In China, I plan to work under the supervision of professor X who is well known for his research on Immuno- oncology and I aim to carrying out research and make a contribution in the field of cancer biology and therapy. My ultimate goal is to use the knowledge obtained through my research for the development of a more refined way of cancer therapy. I have seen cancer adversely affect the lives of so many in my own community, and due to lack of appropriate treatment cancer death rates have only been increasing. This provides me a very personal motivation to succeed and make a contribution. Therefore, I would like to deepen my knowledge in this field and can apply the result of my study and research not only to people from my home town but also to the whole world.
    Reasons to study in China:
    China has become one of the most popular study abroad destinations for international students like me because of many reasons and I would like to mention a few of them.
    First, China’s development during the last four decades is unprecedented in World’s history and I am sure that witnessing it from inside the country is fascinating. These progress show how hardworking and dedicated are Chinese people and I admire their effort to become more successful year after year.
    Then, Chinese culture has over 5000-year history and is extremely diverse. The multicultural environment is another reason that makes China a wonderful place for students like me who enjoy this environment. The differences among people is interesting and still their harmonies in getting the same goal which is the progress of their country is praiseworthy.
    Another reason is the High-quality education that provide access to a wide range of cutting-edge technologies. The amount of the budget that allocate to some projects in Chinese university is comparable to the whole budget of top universities in many universities in developing countries. Therefore, that not supervising why the progress in Chinese education and research is that much fast.
    Finally, eminent scientists who do research in Chinese universities and the commitment of Chinese government to attract international students by offering a wide range of funding opportunities shows the importance of high quality education, in China. I now that the Chinese university are planning for top ten and I believe that they achieve this goal soon.
    All these reasons put together make China an ideal place for me to do my PhD.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 10,168
    #2

    Re: Please dear Teechar kindly correct my Study plan.

    Quote Originally Posted by shapol46 View Post

    Academic Background:
    Based on my passion for genetics as well as cells, I made up my mind in high school to study cell and molecular biology at university. However, because I wanted to be financially independent, first I attended a teacher training center and, immediately after graduation graduating, I took part in universities sat the university entrance exam and I was accepted in one of the top universities in my country in the field of cell and molecular biology.
    During my bachelor’s, after participation participating in a seminar presented by a scientist worked at from the University of Utah, I was highly motivated about studying cancer biology for my master's. Although, an increase in the incidence of cancer in my hometown was another reason, and I hoped my research would help to deepen the understanding of the mechanisms of some cancers in future.
    I would like to mention that during my bachelor's, I worked as a school administrator four days a week, and I commuted more than four hours a day and still found time to participate in English classes and go to the gym and still while remaining in the top five percent of students in my class. and I graduated with a GPA of 3.8/4.0. I as well also got the best result in the master's entrance exam among not only my classmates but also 120 students who studied different branches of biology at the department. of biology.

    However, although I was accepted in one of the top universities in my country, a lack of research facilities forced me to change my subject of interest. Hence, interested my interest in helping improve diagnostic prospects and cure diseases in which genetics play a role, as well as being passionate my passion about immunology , I decided led me to focus my master's thesis on the autoimmune disease XX. This gave me a strong background in immune system function, and it reinforced my interest in pursuing research into the role of the immune system in cancer initiation and progression and immuno-oncology.
    I wish to point out that during my master's, I traveled hundreds of kilometers by bus every week to attend university and worked for four days a week in the laboratory, regularly attended the hospital to collect blood samples, participated in translation translating the 5th edition of Molecular Biology of the Cell, (Albert’s) into [LANGUAGE], and I taught biology in high school for three days and still remain in the top five percent of students in my class and submitted defended my dissertation on the expected time. The reason was my ambition for studying and research.

    My Personality:

    Apart from being hardworking, my commitment, responsibility and motivation are among my personal characteristics. positive aspects. These features are evidenced by working full-time while studying during all the years of my bachelor's and master's and still remaining among the top students in my class.
    Working for several years as a school administrator and elementary school and biology teacher has not only has given me a different perspective on learning and the life sciences, but also has helped me develop strong leadership and communication skills.
    I am also very concerned about the environment, and I am a member of the Eco-Friendly Group that undertakes activities to help clean and conserve the environment in my hometown. Usually, two weekends per month we have a cleanup day two weekends per month and pick up litter around our town.

    Study Plan in China:
    I would like to apply for your “XX” PhD program. I believe this program precisely fits my study plans and is in line with my career aspirations.
    My research interests cover a range of issues, many of which fall within the scope of immune-oncology and translational medicine.
    I enjoy problem-solving, and I am highly interested in studying about the different mechanisms that cause the normal cells to become cancerous, cells, and the role of cancer stem cells and their microenvironment in tumor growth, recurrence and metastasis. I am particularly interested in the mechanisms that allow cancerous cells to escape from evade the immune system- either the cells of the immune system in our body or those laboratory-manufactured T-cells.
    Doing research is an important part of solving the problem, but translation of the research to the clinic is the ultimate goal. as much important. Each year thousands of reports studies about the cancer are published in peer-reviewed journals, but we don’t see their patients directly benefiting from them. effect on patient’s bedside. I want to do research in order to bring direct benefit for patients, and that’s why I am applying for this PhD program. The laboratory that I aim to join is located in the XX University, where we can be in direct contact with patients, and I believe that makes our effort harder to see the results of our study.
    In China, I plan to work under the supervision of professor X who is well known renowned for his research on into Immuno-oncology, and I aim to carry ing out research and make a contribution in the field of cancer biology and therapy. My ultimate goal is to use the knowledge obtained through my research for the development of a more refined way of cancer therapy. I have seen cancer adversely affect the lives of so many in my own community, and due to lack of appropriate treatment, cancer death rates have only been increasing. This provides gives me a very personal motivation to succeed and make a contribution. Therefore, I would like to deepen my knowledge in this field and can apply the result of my study and research not only to people from my home town but also to the whole world.

    Reasons to study in China:

    China has become one of the most popular study-abroad destinations for international students like me because of many reasons. and I would like to mention a few of them.
    First, China’s development during the last four decades is unprecedented in world history, and I am sure that witnessing it from inside the country is would be fascinating. These This progress shows how hardworking and dedicated are the Chinese people are, and I admire their effort to become more successful. year after year.
    Then, Furthermore, Chinese culture has over 5000 years of history and is extremely diverse. The multicultural environment is another reason that makes China a wonderful place for students like me who enjoy this an international environment. The differences among people is interesting and still their harmonies in getting the same goal which is the progress of their country is praiseworthy.
    Another reason is the high-quality education that provides access to a wide range of cutting-edge technologies. The amount of the budgets that allocated to some projects in Chinese universities is are comparable to the whole budgets of top universities in many universities in developing countries. Therefore, that not supervising why the progress in Chinese education and research is that much fast.
    Finally, the eminent research scientists who do research in Chinese universities and the commitment of the Chinese government to attract international students by offering a wide range of funding opportunities show the importance of high quality education in China. I now that the Chinese university are planning for top ten and I believe that they achieve this goal soon.
    All these reasons put together make China an ideal place for me to do my PhD.
    I don't understand the part in blue. Consider omitting it if it's not essential to your letter.

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Kurdish
      • Home Country:
      • Iran
      • Current Location:
      • Iran

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
    • Posts: 27
    #3

    Re: Please dear Teechar kindly correct my Study plan.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    I don't understand the part in blue. Consider omitting it if it's not essential to your letter.
    Thank you so much. I will.

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