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  1. #1
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
    ambitious-girl is offline Senior Member
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    but, on the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their

    Are these two sentences correct ?

    Main sentence ->

    "To some extent we can blame obesity problems on pressurized marketing which glamorizes certain foods and drinks, but, on the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their own health. "

    My sentence ->

    "To some extent we can blame obesity problems on pressurized marketing which glamorizes certain foods and drinks. On the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for their own health. "

  2. #2
    GoesStation is offline Moderator
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    Re: but, on the other hand, individuals themselves must learn to be responsible for t

    Your version is better. I wouldn't use pressurized like that, though some British writers do.
    I am not a teacher.

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