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  1. #1
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    My best friend

    This is my third attempt at writing in English. Please correct any mistakes.
    My best friend
    Joe and I, two have played together since they learned at high school . Up to now/ untill now, Joe has been still my best friend and understood me deeply than anyone.
    Joe is taller and bigger than me. Joe is strong, fun and very active. On the contrary, I am small, shy and inactive. So, when I moved to Joe’s class, I had not any friends. I felt alone. Every day, I only made friend with my books. One day, My pen run out of pink while I was doing my examination. Time would be up, while I didn’t still do my test completely. A hand surprisingly touched softly on my shoulder. When I turned back, Joe smiled and took a red pen and gave it to me. I was very happy and said thank you then continuously made my test. Our friendship have begun since that.
    On another occasion, I was injured at my right leg after the accident. I could not drive to go to school by my bicycle. Every day, Joe came my home and took me to go to school by his old bicycle although Joe’s house was far away from my house.
    When I made friend with Joe, I am more confident than before. Joe and I often played together and helped each other to improve our study

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: My best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    This is my third attempt at writing in English. Please correct any mistakes.


    My best friend
    Joe and I ​(no comma here) two have played together since they we learned were at high school. (Don't put a space before a full stop.) Up to now/ untill now, Joe has been is still my best friend and understood understands me more deeply than anyone.

    Joe is taller and bigger than me. Joe is strong, fun and very active. On the contrary, I, however, am small, shy and inactive. So, When I moved to Joe’s class, I had not did not have any friends. I felt alone. Every day, I only made friends with my books. One day, my pen run ran out of pink ink while I was doing taking my an examination. Time would soon be up, while but I didn’t still hadn't finished. do my test completely.

    A hand surprisingly touched softly on my shoulder. When I turned back looked behind me, Joe smiled and took gave me a red pen. and gave it to me. I was very happy, and said thank you thanked him then continuously made my test continued with the exam. Our friendship have begun began since that then.

    On another occasion, I was injured at my right leg after in the an accident so I could not drive ride my bike to go to school. by my bicycle. Every day, Joe came to my home house and took me to go to school by on his old bicycle, although even though Joe’s his house was far away from my house mine.

    When I made friends with Joe, I am became more confident. than before. Joe and I often played together and helped each other to improve with our study studies.
    See above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    Re: My best friend

    My best friend
    Joe and I ​have played together since we learned were (Why we don’t use “learned”?) at high school. Up to now/ untill now, ( Why we don’t use “up to now/ untill now” here) Joe has been is still my best friend and understands me more deeply than anyone.

    Joe is taller and bigger than me. Joe is strong, fun and very active. I, however, (I don’t understand how to use “however” here, please explain it for me, thank you) am small, shy and inactive. When I moved to Joe’s class, I did not have any friends. I felt alone. Every day, I only made friends with my books. One day, my pen ran out of ink while I was taking an examination. Time would soon be up, but I still hadn't finished.

    A hand surprisingly touched softly on (Please explain for me. Why I don’t use “softly” here?) my shoulder. When I turned back (I can still use “turn back” hear but it is not as good as looked behind me, right?) looked behind me, Joe smiled and gave me a red pen. I was very happy, thanked him then continued with the exam. Our friendship began then.

    On another occasion, I injured my right leg in an accident so I could not ride my bike to school. Every day, Joe came to my house and took me to school on his old bicycle, although even though (I think that even though means the same although, right?) his house was far away from mine.

    When I made friends with Joe, I became more confident. Joe and I often played together and helped each other with our studies.

  4. #4
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: My best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    Why we don’t we use “learned”?
    "Since we learned at high school" is not natural.


    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    Why we don’t we use “up to now/until now”?
    "Since" already includes up to the present time.


    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    I don’t understand how to use “however” here. Please explain it for to me. Thank you.
    This is the same as "However, I am small ..."

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    Please explain for to me why I can't don’t use “softly” here.
    You can use "softly". Put it after "shoulder." However, use "touched", not "touched on" which is a phrasal verb with a completely different meaning.

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    I can still use “turn back” hear here, but it is not as good as "looked behind me", right?
    No, "turned back" doesn't work here. You can use "looked behind me" or "turned around" if you like.

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    I think that "even though" means the same as "although", right?
    You can use either. Sometimes, "even though" seems stronger.

  5. #5
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    Re: My best friend

    Thank you. This is my rewriting.

    Joe and I ​have played together since we were at high school. Joe is still my best friend and understands me more deeply than anyone.

    Joe is taller and bigger than me. Joe is strong, fun and very active. I, however, am small, shy and inactive. When I moved to Joe’s class, I did not have any friends. I felt alone. Every day, I only made friends with my books. One day, my pen ran out of ink while I was taking an examination. Time would soon be up, but I still hadn't finished.

    A hand surprisingly touched my shoulder softly. When I looked behind me, Joe smiled and gave me a red pen. I was very happy, thanked him then continued with the exam. Our friendship began then.

    On another occasion, I injured my right leg in an accident so I could not ride my bike to school. Every day, Joe came to my house and took me to school on his old bicycle, even though his house was far away from mine.

    When I made friends with Joe, I became more confident. Joe and I often played together and helped each other with our studies.

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