[General] Studying abroad

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ambitious-girl

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Persian
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Iran
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Hello,
Could someone please check the following paragraph for errors?


Studying abroad can/will probably be an educational experience for foreign students. In other words, it may broaden students’ horizons, and, in addition, such experience can expand their knowledge of the world, as a result of their being exposed to different cultures and customs, which can be interesting and enjoyable in some way. In terms of job, they are more likely to be paid on high salaries, soon making them more independent. Therefore, they will be able to own their home.


Thank you.
 
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emsr2d2

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British English
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Hello,
Could someone please check the following paragraph for errors?

Studying abroad can [STRIKE]/will[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]probably[/STRIKE] be an educational experience for foreign students. [STRIKE]In other words,[/STRIKE] It may broaden [STRIKE]students’[/STRIKE] ​their horizons. [STRIKE]and,[/STRIKE] In addition, such an experience can expand their knowledge of the world, as a result of [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] being exposed to different cultures and customs, which can be interesting and enjoyable in [STRIKE]some[/STRIKE] many ways. In terms of job prospects, they are more likely to be paid [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] high salaries, [STRIKE]soon[/STRIKE] quickly making them more independent (no full stop here) [STRIKE]Therefore, they will be[/STRIKE] and able to own their own home.

Thank you.

See above.
 

ambitious-girl

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
Thanks Emsr2d2, you have made great points, and I try to apply them in my writing for future.

Your final correction: In terms of job prospects, they are more likely to be paid high salaries, quickly making them more independent and able to own their own home.

Is following can be concluded from what you corrected?(because we have phrase "be able to", now the use below makes me a little bit confused."

In terms of job prospects, they are more likely to be paid high salaries, which quickly make them more independent and (which make them) able to own their own home.
 
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