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  1. #1
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    A Malaysian Movie, Minahmoto

    Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you

    Long Summary
    Aminah, a young girl who is really into motorbike has always dream to own her own RX-Z motorcycle. When she finally gets her hands on one, her passion into the world of motorbike leads her to form a group of four with her best friends. Every Saturday night they will gather and convoy together riding their bikes. One thing that Aminah always want is to participate in an illegal road race that take part on Saturday night.

    Short Summary
    A motorcycle enthusiast, Aminah, who works at her father’s motorcycle workshop dreams of owning a RX-Z motorcycle, and when she finally gets her hands on one, her life as a female rider begins.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Minahmoto

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you

    Long Summary
    Aminah, a young girl who is really into motorbikes, has always dreamt/dreamed to own of owning her own RX-Z motorcycle. When she finally gets her hands on one, her passion into for the world of motorbikes leads her to form a group of four with her best friends. Every Saturday night, they willgather and ride their bikes in convoy. together riding their bikes. One thing that Aminah has always wanted to do isto participate in an illegal road race that take takes part place on Saturday nights.

    Short Summary
    A motorcycle enthusiast, Aminah, who works at her father’s motorcycle workshop, dreams of owning a RX-Z motorcycle, and when she finally gets her hands on one, her life as a female rider begins.
    See above. We know Aminah is female because you used "she" so there is no need to specify that she's a "female rider".

    I find it strange that there is information in the short summary that doesn't appear in the long summary - that she works at her father's workshop. You don't normally add information to create a short summary.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Minahmoto

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above. We know Aminah is female because you used "she" so there is no need to specify that she's a "female rider".

    I find it strange that there is information in the short summary that doesn't appear in the long summary - that she works at her father's workshop. You don't normally add information to create a short summary.
    That's a good point. Revised long summary as below. I really hope there is no mistake this time.

    Aminah, a young girl who works at her father’s motorcycle workshop, has always dreamed of owning her own RX-Z motorcycle. When she finally gets her hands on one, her passion for the world of motorbikes leads her to form a group of four with her best friends. Every Saturday night, they gather and ride their bikes in convoy. One thing that Aminah has always wanted to do is to participate in an illegal road race that takes place on Saturday nights.

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