Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,948

    Bob had been seething with anger

    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.


    Bob had been seething with anger since his mother had cut him out of her will. He blamed her new husband for such decision, because for some reason, he did not like Bob and probably managed to manipulate his mother.

  2. #2
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    11,461

    Re: Bob had been seething with anger

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.


    Bob had been seething with anger since his mother had cut him out of her will. He blamed her new husband for such that decision because, for some reason, he did not like Bob and probably managed to manipulate influence his mother.
    Is Bob's mother dead? Why did you use the past perfect in the first sentence?

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,948

    Re: Bob had been seething with anger

    teechar,

    Bob's mother is still alive. I used past perfect in the first sentence because I (wrongly) believed it should be used. The problem is that when I have "since" in my sentence, I am not sure if I should use the past perfect or the past.

  4. #4
    Lynxear's Avatar
    Lynxear is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Retired English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    492

    Re: Bob had been seething with anger

    It is not a bad effort. "Bob had been seething with anger" means he was angry when he learned about the change in the will and he is still angry today. "Seethe" is a great word to use. It shows the intensity of that anger. You almost see smoke coming from his ears when he thinks about this situation.

    You did not name her new husband and that would help clarify who the "he/him" references.

    I would not agree with the comma after "because" as was suggested. Actually I would break up the sentence into two sentences and eliminate the "because" all together.

    Finally I would add "he" after "and" to make what followed an independent clause and add a comma before "and". "Manipulate" is fine. "Influence" is ok as well.

    So I would change your writing to:

    Bob had been seething with anger since his mother had cut him out of her will. He blamed her new husband, John, for that decision. For some reason John did not like him, and he probably managed to manipulate his mother.

    You made a very good attempt. It is a nice interesting sentence grouping.
    Last edited by Lynxear; 28-Jul-2017 at 06:28.
    Experience is recognizing a mistake the second time you make it.
    You don't go to an Englishman when you want good pierogi.

    - Wisdom from my father

  5. #5
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    11,461

    Re: Bob had been seething with anger

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynxear View Post
    "Bob had been seething with anger" means he was angry when he learned about the change in the will and he is still angry today.
    That's incorrect. If he is still angry today, you would use the present perfect (not the past perfect).

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynxear View Post
    You did not name her new husband and that would help clarify who the "he/him" references.
    That implies not naming the new husband helps clarify who he is!
    I presume you meant to write naming her new husband would help clarify who "he/him" refers to.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynxear View Post
    I would not agree with the comma after "because" as was suggested.
    I disagree. It makes "for some reason" parenthetical.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynxear View Post
    "Influence" is ok OK/okay as well.
    Note the correction.

  6. #6
    andrewg927 is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    1,325

    Re: Bob had been seething with anger

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    That's incorrect. If he is still angry today, you would use the present perfect (not the past perfect).
    It is fine if you are telling a story.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    I disagree. It makes "for some reason" parenthetical.
    A comma after "because" is just awkward.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •