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Thread: more fun

  1. Banned
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    #1

    more fun

    Please have a look if my sentences are OK or need to be reformulated.

    Flirting in Manila is much more fun than in Europe. Once you give a smile to a Manila girl at a shopping mall or so for no reason or to start a little flirt, she will smile back twice as much, whereas in Berlin or London they would make a face like you were an intrusive used-car dealer.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: more fun

    Quote Originally Posted by AirbusA321 View Post
    Please have a look if my sentences are OK or need to be reformulated.

    Flirting in some cities is much more fun than in others. In some cities, once you give a smile to at a girl/boy at a shopping mall, or so for no particular reason or to start flirting a little, flirt, she/he will smile back twice as much. In some other cities, they would make a face at you like as if you were an intrusive used-car dealer.
    See above.

    I have edited and corrected your post so that it does not make sweeping stereotypical statements about people in particular cities. I have also added "boy" and "he" in - you need to remember that flirting works in many ways, not just males flirting with females.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: more fun

    I think that removing the city names removes much of the message. However, there is a place (or several places) for such qualifications as "usually" or "in my experience".

  4. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #4

    Re: more fun

    I'd keep the names of the cities.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: more fun

    OK, but with the names of the cities, I'd suggest starting with something like "In my opinion" or "I have found that" to avoid it appearing to be a statement of fact.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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