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  1. #1
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    An aniversary day

    This is my seventh attempt at writing in English. Please correct any mistakes you find.
    An aniversary day

    Toan and Tam like Vetnamese food. They love Vietnamese food very much. They often go out to a Vietnamese restaurant on the weekend. There are two Vietnamese restaurant close to/near the place that they reside.
    The aniversary day of the wedding is coming up. Toan has a plan for having dinner in one of the restaurants. He calls a restaurant to make a reservation, but tables is not available. He thinks he himself will cook some Vietnamese foods to make a surprise to Tam. There is a trouble he cooks very bad. He fries meat, but the meat becomes black colour. He cooks a soup, but the smell soup is very bad.
    He thinks he will order some foods in one of the restaurants. He will prepare the place being in front of their house and he will play guitar himself. That is a great day.
    The day arrives. Tam is still at work while Toan orders the food. He goes to the restaurant, picks it up and brings it back home. As Tam goes home, he lights up the candles, plays guitar and tell Tam “happy aniversary”.
    Tam looks confused. “Today is not the aniversary day. Tomorrow is right”. Toan looks at the calendar and checks. He realizes she is right. He looks back her and smiles.

  2. #2
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: An aniversary day

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    This is my seventh attempt at writing in English. Please correct any mistakes you find.
    An aniversary day

    Toan and Tam like Vetnamese food. They love Vietnamese food very much. They often go out to a Vietnamese restaurant on the weekend. There are two Vietnamese restaurants close to/near the place that they reside.
    The anniversary day of their wedding is coming up. Toan has a plan for of having dinner in one of the restaurants. He calls a restaurant to make a reservation, but tables is are not available. He thinks he himself will cook some Vietnamese foods to make give Tam a surprise to Tam. There is a trouble when he cooks very bad. He fries meat, but the meat becomes black colour is burnt. He cooks a soup, but the smell soup is very smells bad.
    He thinks he will order some foods in one of the restaurants. He will prepare the place, being in front of their house and he will play guitar himself. That is will be a great day.
    The day arrives. Tam is still at work while Toan orders the food. He goes to the restaurant, picks it up and brings it back home. As Tam goes home, he lights up the candles, plays guitar and tell wished Tam “happy aniversary”.
    Tam looks confused. “Today is not the anniversary day. Tomorrow is right”. Toan looks at the calendar and checks. He realizes she is right. He looks back at her and smiles.
    .
    Last edited by tedmc; 31-Jul-2017 at 15:50.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. #3
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    Re: An aniversary day

    I am very happy to see your comments. Please check my question.
    An aniversary day

    Toan and Tam love Vietnamese food very much. They often go out to a Vietnamese restaurant on the weekend. There are two Vietnamese restaurants close to/near the place that they reside.

    The anniversary day of their wedding is coming up. Toan has a plan for of (I have checked the google, but they often use “ plan for”. Could you explain why you use “plan of”?) having dinner in one of the restaurants. He calls a restaurant to make a reservation, but tables are not available. He thinks he himself will cook some Vietnamese foods to give Tam a surprise. There is trouble when he cooks. He fries meat, but the meat is burnt. He cooks a soup, but the soup smells bad.

    He thinks he will order some foods in one of the restaurants. He will prepare the place, being in front of their house and he will play guitar himself. That will be a great day.

    The day arrives. Tam is still at work while Toan orders the food. He goes to the restaurant, picks it up and brings it back home. As Tam goes home, he lights up the candles, plays guitar and wished Tam “happy aniversary”.

    Tam looks confused. “Today is not the anniversary day. Tomorrow is”. Toan looks at the calendar and checks. He realizes she is right. He looks back at her and smiles.

  4. #4
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: An aniversary day

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    I am very happy to see your comments. Please check my question.
    An aniversary day

    Toan and Tam love Vietnamese food very much. They often go out to a Vietnamese restaurant on the weekend. There are two Vietnamese restaurants close to/near the place that they reside.

    The anniversary day of their wedding is coming up. Toan has a plan for of (I have checked the google, but they often use “ plan for”. Could you explain why you use “plan of”?) having dinner in one of the restaurants.

    The plan is to have dinner in one of the restaurants. The plan is for Tam to have a dinner in one of the restaurants.
    Toan has a plan of having dinner in one of the restaurants but the plan did not materialise as he could not get a table.




    He calls a restaurant to make a reservation, but tables are not available. He thinks he himself will cook some Vietnamese foods to give Tam a surprise. There is trouble when he cooks. He fries meat, but the meat is burnt. He cooks a soup, but the soup smells bad.

    He thinks he will order some foods in one of the restaurants. He will prepare the place, being in front of their house and he will play guitar himself. That will be a great day.

    The day arrives. Tam is still at work while Toan orders the food. He goes to the restaurant, picks it up and brings it back home. As Tam goes home, he lights up the candles, plays guitar and wished Tam “happy anniversary”.

    Tam looks confused. “Today is not the anniversary day. Tomorrow is”. Toan looks at the calendar and checks. He realizes she is right. He looks back at her and smiles.
    .
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is online now Moderator
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    Re: An aniversary day

    Note the correct spelling of "anniversary". Tedmc corrected it in the main body of your text but it needs to be corrected in both your thread title and your essay title.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. #6
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    Re: An aniversary day

    I have a little question. Could I write "He thinks he himself will cook some Vietnamese foods to make Tam surprised"?

  7. #7
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    Re: An aniversary day

    I often access a website having short stories by English. I remember and rewrite those stories by my abillity and opinion. Maybe this is a stupid question but I want to expand my knowledge. Why do we use simple present when we tell a story?
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 02-Aug-2017 at 12:05. Reason: Link to paid website deleted.

  8. #8
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: An aniversary day

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    I often access a website having short stories by on English. I remember and rewrite those stories by my abillity and opinion on my own. Maybe this is a stupid question but I want to expand my knowledge. Why do we use the simple present tense when we tell a story?
    The present tense gives the reader a sense of immediacy and closeness to the storyteller, as if the story is happening now, as opposed to something that is reported from the distant past.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  9. #9
    toanhntm is offline Newbie
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    Re: An aniversary day

    Quote Originally Posted by toanhntm View Post
    I have a little question. Could I write "He thinks he himself will cook some Vietnamese foods to make Tam surprised"?
    Are you able to forget to answer this one?

  10. #10
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is online now Moderator
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    Re: An aniversary day

    We're able to forget anything! Aren't you able to forget things?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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