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  1. #1
    tufguy is offline VIP Member
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    In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a

    In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a gun shop right in front front of a mall. There were few people in the mall. It was rather difficult for that person (gun shop) to come to the mall because there were zombies every where on the roads. Among those people in the mall there was a police officer who befriended that person and started playing chess with him for time pass. They both used to sit on the roofs with binoculars and white boards. They used to put chessmen on the chess board and choose one side (black or white). They used to tell each other about their moves by writing them on the board and showing it to each other. Like, if the gun shop guy is playing with white chessmen and he has to move his horse than he used to tell it to the other guy by writing it on the board and showing him.

    Please check my sentences.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a

    I suggest that until you really understand the difference between "few" and "a few", you stop trying to use both of them in your pieces. I have a feeling you actually meant "a few" this time.

    In the first sentence you have repeated a word.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
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    Lynxear is offline Senior Member
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    Re: In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a

    I am not going to correct your writing but I will make some comments:

    1. Literally every sentence has one or more grammar errors.

    2. There is no main thought in this passage. It is hard to define what it is that you are trying to say in this paragraph.

    3. There is no continuity in your passage. For example, you have someone trapped in gun shop, yet the mall seems to be empty with the zombies being confined to roads. Then all of a sudden the man is in the mall playing chess with a policeman. Then they are sitting on the roof playing chess in a weird way.

    4. Finally, you do not know how to use "used to" in a sentence.

    There are too many changes to make.
    Experience is recognizing a mistake the second time you make it.
    You don't go to an Englishman when you want good pierogi.

    - Wisdom from my father

  4. #4
    tufguy is offline VIP Member
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    Re: In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I suggest that until you really understand the difference between "few" and "a few", you stop trying to use both of them in your pieces. I have a feeling you actually meant "a few" this time.

    In the first sentence you have repeated a word.
    In the movie "Dawn Of The Dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a gun shop opposite a mall. There were a few people in the mall. It was rather difficult for that person (gun shop) to come to the mall because there were zombies every where on the roads. Among those people in the mall there was a police officer who befriended that person and started playing chess with him for time pass. They both used to sit on the roofs with binoculars and white boards. They used to put chessmen on the chess board and choose one side (black or white). They used to tell each other about their moves by writing them on the board and showing it to each other. Like, if the gun shop guy was playing with white chessmen and he had to move his horse than he told it to the other guy by writing it on the board and showing him.

    Could you please check my sentences please?
    Last edited by tufguy; 10-Aug-2017 at 07:29.

  5. #5
    tufguy is offline VIP Member
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    Re: In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a

    Could you please correct my sentences?

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: In the movie "Dawn of the dead" there was a guy who was stranded in a

    For a start, we've told you multiple times how to correctly capitalise film and book titles. Please click on Edit Post in post #4 and correct it. Do not​ write the entire piece again in a new post.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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