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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Bob went into a pub

    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

    Bob went into a pub and had a few pints of lager before switching to vodka. Some hours later, he was so drunk he could hardly walk. They had to call paramedics, who carried him on a stretcher to the A&E department, where his condition deteriorated. Later, he was to discover he might have escaped the heart attack by a hair's breadth.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Bob went into a pub

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

    Bob went into to a pub and had a few pints of lager before switching to vodka.
    I have changed "into" to "to" because "went into a pub" mainly suggests simply the act of entering the place, whereas "went to a pub" suggests spending some time there.

    Some hours later, he was so drunk he could hardly walk.
    "Some hours" is rather formal (I know we've talked about the formality of your writing before) but it's not wrong. I would say "A couple of hours later/A few hours later".

    They had to call paramedics, who carried him on a stretcher to the A&E department, where his condition deteriorated.
    Who are "they"?
    In BrE, we'd say "had to call an ambulance". The despatcher decides whether to send a paramedic (sometimes on a motorbike) or a full ambulance crew.
    You don't need to specify that he was on a stretcher. When someone is taken in an ambulance to hospital, they are always strapped onto a stretcher for safety reasons.
    I'd use "to casualty" rather than "to the A&E department" but that might only work in BrE.

    Later, he was to discover he might have escaped the a heart attack by a hair's breadth.
    See above for my comments, queries and corrections.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Bob went into a pub

    emsr2d2,

    Thank you for your useful explanations.

    Do I need to specify who were "they"?
    If I had to specify, maybe I should write like this:
    The publican had to call an ambulance, which transported him to causalty, where his condition deteriorated.

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: Bob went into a pub

    Since the identity of "they" hasn't previously been established, I think it would help to do so. Otherwise, it could be the bar staff, the other patrons or maybe the bouncers (the door security staff).

    I don't like "which transported him to" - the ambulance didn't drive itself. I'd probably say:

    "The landlord/landlady (that's usually what we call the publican) had to call an ambulance. Bob was taken to casualty but his condition deteriorated."

    I used "but" at the end to show that his condition deteriorated despite his being taken to hospital for medical attention.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Bob went into a pub

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Do I need to specify who were "they"?
    I beg to differ here and would say that it isn't really important.

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