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  1. #1
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Hello all,

    Could anyone please tell me if this paragraph is correct both conceptually and grammatically?

    Primary school students are not as self-sufficient and independent as they will be when they get much older. Therefore, the teachers will have to put a lot of time and effort into guiding, supervising, and walking them through their activities. Besides, the teachers might sometimes go through everything during the school year, which ranging/varying from learning disabilities and behavioral problems to getting involved in some students' parental conflict.
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 05-Aug-2017 at 17:05.

  2. #2
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    "when they get much older" should be changed to "in the future"

    This is a good first sentence for a paragraph. However, you are not following it up with suitable support sentences relating to this statement. If I were writing this paragraph I would be putting details as to how things would change and compare them to what is currently being done.

    What you have here is simply what teachers are currently doing.

    Are you suggesting that teachers currently don't do these things? You are saying this with this sentence.

    "Therefore, the teachers will have to put a lot of time and effort into guiding, supervising, and walking..."

    If this is true I have to wonder what these teachers really do today. Is this is a change for the future?

    There are several grammar problems in this text. But rather than correct them I think you must first think of what you want to say about the future of primary school teachers and how it will change.
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  3. #3
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Thanks Lynxear. I am going to talk about the current issues and difficulties that primary school teachers have to deal with.
    I was thinking about your suggestions and then trying to make following changes:

    Primary school students are not as self-sufficient and independent as they will be in the future, so not only do they need supervising during the class, but also need walking through their activities outside school hours. This will take the teachers a lot of time, effort and attention. Furthermore, in some cases, the teachers may have to deal with student’s learning disabilities, behavioral problems and some parental conflicts.
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  4. #4
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Whoops!!! I am sorry I was in a hurry and read the first sentence wrong. I was thinking the "teachers" needed to change in the future but it is the "students" you are talking about.

    Now let us look at the first sentence of your original post again. Your second post is not very good. All you have done is connect two sentences together when they should be separate.

    Primary school students are not as self-sufficient and independent as they will be in the future.

    As I said in the first comment I made, this is a good sentence and is a good main sentence for a paragraph, but this does not really become the main subject of this paragraph. You are then describing what teachers must do to cope with this change in student behavior. This means this opening sentence is wrong and should be changed.

    Something like this might be better:

    Since primary school students will be more self-sufficient and independent in the future, teachers must respond to this change in student behavior.

    Now you should more thought as to what you are going to say. For example you say "they (the students) need supervising during the class,". I find this hard to understand if the students are becoming "more self-sufficient and independent". I would think that the students would require less supervision if this were the case. Instead of being told what to do they should be guided so they can figure problems out for themselves.

    Anyway sorry about that misread of your first post. I hope this helps you in thinking through what you want to say.
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  5. #5
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Anyway sorry about that misread of your first post.
    That's OK Lynxear. Your misread actually led to my thinking more and then generating more sentences, although they were not grammatically good enough, so don't worry about it.

    Now, I am thinking about your suggestions. I'll try to post my ideas as soon as possible. Thanks for all your guide again.
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 06-Aug-2017 at 12:18.
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  6. #6
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    I was trying to change topic sentences in they way that I could support it by the sentences that follow it.

    Another difficulty that teachers may be faced with when they teach elementary school-aged children is classroom management. The students at this level are not independent and self-sufficient enough to be dealt with in a logical and reasonable way. Instead, they need guiding and walking through their activities as well as supervising through everything all the time. Consequently, the teachers have to constantly pay attention to what they are doing. This takes teachers a lot of time and effort in handling them and managing the class simultaneously.


    By using supervising, I mean they need to be watched constantly.
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 06-Aug-2017 at 13:11.
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  7. #7
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Yes! You have constructed a much better paragraph. Now we can look at the individual sentences. I don't see any glaring errors at all in grammar but there are areas where some of them can be improved without disturbing you intent.

    The students at this level are not independent and self-sufficient enough to be dealt with in a logical and reasonable way.

    I think I understand what you are trying to say. I think that you mean that you cannot sit down with children of this age and talk with them in a reasonable and logical way. You can deal with them in a reasonable and logical way as a teacher. For example, if they were misbehaving you would take steps to stop this behavior. Sometimes talking works, sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't you take other steps, right?

    I think adding " by just talking with them" at the end of the sentence works and allows you to keep "to be dealt" in your sentence.

    The students at this level are not independent and self-sufficient enough to be dealt with in a logical and reasonable way by just talking with them.

    Instead, they need guiding and walking through their activities as well as supervising through everything all the time.
    "Guiding and walking through" mean the same thing. I would use "guidance" here.

    Instead of "supervising through everything all the time" I would shorten it to "constant supervision"

    Instead, they need guidance for their activities as well as constant supervision.

    I am not 100% happy with the use of "for" in the above sentence but it is the best I can think of now.

    Consequently, the teachers have to constantly pay attention to what they are doing.

    When I first read this sentence I thought "they" referred to the teachers and I was confused. Now I know "they" refers to the students. I think it is better if you replace "they" with "the students"

    Consequently, the teachers have to constantly pay attention to what the students are doing.

    This takes teachers a lot of time and effort in handling them and managing the class simultaneously.

    You should not use the word "and" twice like this. I would use "as well as" and move the adverb.

    This takes teachers a lot of time and effort in handling them as well as simultaneously managing the class.

    I know this has been a struggle for you. However, I think you have a better understanding of how to create a paragraph. This latest construction is 100% better. Your sentences were free of grammar errors. I have just suggested better ways of expressing the same things with small changes of wording.

    Another difficulty that teachers may be faced with when they teach elementary school-aged children is classroom management. The students at this level are not independent and self-sufficient enough to be dealt with in a logical and reasonable way by just talking with them. Instead, they need guidance for their activities as well as constant supervision. Consequently, the teachers have to constantly pay attention to what the students are doing. This takes teachers a lot of time and effort in handling them as well as simultaneously managing the class.
    Experience is recognizing a mistake the second time you make it.
    You don't go to an Englishman when you want good pierogi.

    - Wisdom from my father

  8. #8
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Thanks Lynxear. I would like to gratefully thank for all your extremely helpful effort and guide. I've learned lots of amazing things that I had never known about. Also, I have to say that I am really sorry for encroaching your precious time.

    I know this has been a struggle for you. However, I think you have a better understanding of how to create a paragraph.
    It was a real struggle. I enjoyed it, though. even if I made mistake again, I would try more and more.
    Thanks again for all of your great suggestions and generous help. They were all informative.

    I have just suggested better ways of expressing the same things with small changes of wording.
    You are such an amazing teacher. I LOVE your approach. It was kind of you.
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 07-Aug-2017 at 09:00.
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  9. #9
    tedmc is online now VIP Member
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    Re: difficulties of being a primary school teacher

    Instead, they need guidance for their activities as well as constant supervision.

    I am not 100% happy with the use of "for" in the above sentence but it is the best I can think of now.
    How about "guidance with their activities"?
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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