MachEnglish
Member
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2017
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Dear friends/teachers,
Could you evaluate my essay, especially in terms of being to the point?
Topic: Some people prefer to enhance their knowledge by consulting with other people, while others prefer to experience different things by themselves. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both ideas.
My essay:
To begin with, in contrast to the idea that personal experiences and discoveries can endow people with the opportunity to live a more splendid life, some opponents allege that human lifespan is extremely limited and fleeting in comparison with the enormous volume of required knowledge and experiences wich people demand during their lives. Therefore, more efficient strategies--consulting with others and analyzing different attitudes--are supposed to be considered by which people are able to acquire some informative learning in a more profound and convenient way. Although at first glance these allegations seem somewhat correct and logical, a more detailed scrutiny of the facts would reveal that nowadays, with the development of state-of-the-art facilities and technologies, namely the Internet, digital social media, cellphones, and modern scientific resources, to name but a handful, people can benefit from a wide variety of tools to put some teeth into their experiences and practical information.
Apart from the approach I mentioned above, even if it is supposed that consulting with others, especially erdudite and accomplished specialties, is an inseparable part of a promissing future, there are most probably other competitively alternative options, such as travelling to other places and studying history books, which are worthy of being remarked. The essence of prudence, or practical wisdom, is in any given case always to choose the lesser of two evils or the greater of two goods. It is of course often difficult, sometimes even impossible, to know with any certainty which of the two evils is lesser or which of the two goods is greater. With this in mind, people are supposed to think out of the box in a more comprehensive way. To this end, a combination of several measures, including both consultation and personal perceptions, might sound to be the most satisfying notion to cut negative results to the bone.
Could you evaluate my essay, especially in terms of being to the point?
Topic: Some people prefer to enhance their knowledge by consulting with other people, while others prefer to experience different things by themselves. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both ideas.
My essay:
To begin with, in contrast to the idea that personal experiences and discoveries can endow people with the opportunity to live a more splendid life, some opponents allege that human lifespan is extremely limited and fleeting in comparison with the enormous volume of required knowledge and experiences wich people demand during their lives. Therefore, more efficient strategies--consulting with others and analyzing different attitudes--are supposed to be considered by which people are able to acquire some informative learning in a more profound and convenient way. Although at first glance these allegations seem somewhat correct and logical, a more detailed scrutiny of the facts would reveal that nowadays, with the development of state-of-the-art facilities and technologies, namely the Internet, digital social media, cellphones, and modern scientific resources, to name but a handful, people can benefit from a wide variety of tools to put some teeth into their experiences and practical information.
Apart from the approach I mentioned above, even if it is supposed that consulting with others, especially erdudite and accomplished specialties, is an inseparable part of a promissing future, there are most probably other competitively alternative options, such as travelling to other places and studying history books, which are worthy of being remarked. The essence of prudence, or practical wisdom, is in any given case always to choose the lesser of two evils or the greater of two goods. It is of course often difficult, sometimes even impossible, to know with any certainty which of the two evils is lesser or which of the two goods is greater. With this in mind, people are supposed to think out of the box in a more comprehensive way. To this end, a combination of several measures, including both consultation and personal perceptions, might sound to be the most satisfying notion to cut negative results to the bone.