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  1. #1
    Bassim is online now VIP Member
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    People believed that Moira was on a diet

    I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct. I am not sure if "when in reality" is correct English.

    People believed Moira was on a diet, when in reality she had been eaten by an incurable illness.

  2. #2
    GoesStation is offline Moderator
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    Re: People believed that Moira was on a diet

    Maybe she was wasting away with an incurable disease.
    I am not a teacher.

  3. #3
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    Skrej is offline Key Member
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    Re: People believed that Moira was on a diet

    Perhaps 'had been emaciated', if she's especially thin. Otherwise 'had been thinned' or 'had been gnawed away by' or even 'had been consumed by'.
    Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

  4. #4
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    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: People believed that Moira was on a diet

    Perhaps "... when, in reality, she had an incurable wasting disease". However, that only works if she has something like CWD rather than terminal cancer (which frequently causes the sufferer to lose huge amounts of weight, particularly towards the end of their life but the weight loss is not the actual cause of death).
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: People believed that Moira was on a diet

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    she had been eaten by an incurable illness.
    I would not use the past perfect because she would still have the disease because it's incurable. GoesStation's version works better.

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