[Essay] similarities between Iran and India

[ambitious-girl]

I was wondering if someone could proofread this paragraph for any mistakes.

There are certain similarities between Iran and India. Although being separated geographically by a few countries and even more kilometers, the countries have actually many things/much in common. If cuisine is taken as an example of the shared aspect of culture between those countries, Indian’s food is believed to be somewhat like Persian’s in that it has borrowed some styles, spices and recipes from Iranian’s and has in turn influenced Persian food. Rice is also considered to be a major ingredient for both Iranian and Indian dishes. Correspondingly/In the same way, in terms of religious beliefs, worshiping the sun and holiness of fire dating long back in history were and still are customary to these countries. However, such practices are common among a minority group of the Iranian called Zoroastrians, because the vast majority of people living Iran believe in God and are Muslim and Islam is regarded as their main religion, as well. They also share some linguistic and lexical similarities. Sanskrit is the language of religion for the followers of Vedic religion in India, and Avesta is its counterpart for the ancient Iranians. These two languages are very similar in terms of their terminology and phonetics. The rhythm and styles of writing poems in these two languages are so much similar that those in Avestan language can be converted to Vedic using the phonetic rules.


Thanks in advance.

 

[teechar]

There are certain similarities between Iran and India. Although [STRIKE]being separated geographically by a few countries and even more kilometers, the[/STRIKE] they don't share a border, both countries have [STRIKE]actually[/STRIKE] many things/much in common.[STRIKE]If[/STRIKE] When it comes to cuisine, [STRIKE]is taken as an example of the shared aspect of culture between those countries,[/STRIKE] Indian food is [STRIKE]believed to be[/STRIKE] considered somewhat similar to [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] its Persian counterpart [STRIKE]in that it has[/STRIKE] which is believed to have borrowed some cooking styles, spices and recipes from [STRIKE]Iranian’s[/STRIKE] the former and has, thus, been [STRIKE]in turn[/STRIKE] influenced by it. [STRIKE]Persian food.[/STRIKE] Rice is also [STRIKE]considered to be[/STRIKE] a major ingredient [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in both Iranian and Indian dishes. [STRIKE]Correspondingly/[/STRIKE] In the same way, in terms of religious beliefs, worshiping the sun and [STRIKE]holiness[/STRIKE] the sanctity of fire [STRIKE]dating long back in history[/STRIKE] were and still are customary [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] in these countries. However, such practices are common nowadays only among a minority group of [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Iranians called Zoroastrians, because the vast majority of people living Iran believe in God and are Muslim. [STRIKE]and Islam is regarded as their main religion, as well.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]They also[/STRIKE] Moreover, the languages of both countries share some linguistic and lexical similarities. Sanskrit is the language of religion for the followers of the Vedic religion in India, and Avesta [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] was its [STRIKE]counterpart[/STRIKE] equivalent for the ancient Iranians. These two languages are very similar in terms of their [STRIKE]terminology[/STRIKE] vocabulary and phonetics. The rhythm and styles of writing poems in these two languages are so [STRIKE]much[/STRIKE] similar that those in the Avestan language can be converted to [STRIKE]Vedic[/STRIKE] Sanskrit using [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] only phonetics. [STRIKE]rules.[/STRIKE]
.

Thanks in advance.

.

 

[ambitious-girl]

Thanks Teechar. I really appreciate all of your help and effort. You have done great proofreading. I have learned a lot from what you did.
I want to have your idea on my essay. Do you think I have made any progress? as I have lots of mistakes.

 

[teechar]

Of course you're making progress!
Are you preparing for some exam?

 

[ambitious-girl]

Of course you're making progress!

Thanks Teechar.

Are you preparing for some exam?

Yes. I am preparing for an IELTS exam. By January 1st, I have to take the exam and I need 7 overall. I want to apply for some English-speaking universities.

 

[teechar]

Yes. I am preparing for [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] the IELTS exam. By January 1st, I have to take the exam, and I need 7 overall. I want to apply for some universities in English-speaking countries. [STRIKE]universities.[/STRIKE]

Then, why aren't you practising writing full essays instead of squashing your ideas into single paragraphs like that? A proper essay should have an introduction, some body paragraphs and a conclusion. Take a look at the following link.

https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/threads/231730-University-Education

 

[ambitious-girl]

Then, why aren't you practising writing full essays instead of squashing your ideas into single paragraphs like that?

Actually, I lack ideas, when it comes to write full essays. These days, I am working on my vocabulary, grammars and sentence structures. Everyday, I memorize 15-20 sentences and 30-40 vocabulary. You know, when I read a passage, I look up new and formal vocabulary from dictionaries, make sentences, and then memorize them. After one month, I try to write full essay.

Thanks for the link above. It'll be helpful.

 

[emsr2d2]

Actually, I lack ideas (no comma here) when it comes to [STRIKE]write[/STRIKE] writing full essays. These days, I am working on my vocabulary, [STRIKE]grammars[/STRIKE] grammar and sentence [STRIKE]structures[/STRIKE] structure. [STRIKE]Everyday[/STRIKE] Every day, I memorize 15-20 sentences and 30-40 [STRIKE]vocabulary[/STRIKE] new words. [STRIKE]You know,[/STRIKE] When I read a passage, I look up new and formal vocabulary [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] in dictionaries, make sentences, and then memorize them. After one month, I will try to write a full essay.

Thanks for the link above. It'll be helpful.

Note my corrections above.