Some people think that environmental problems are too big

Status
Not open for further replies.

aspnet_22

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
I would be grateful if someone would correct my essay.

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
The environment has become, the most serious concern in the, especially last couple of decades. It involves many vital issues such as global warming, terrestrial and aquatic creatures death, river and trees drying.It is said that preserving the environment is the responsibility of government and people as an individual couldn't do anything whereas other people don't think so. This essay will discuss this two point of views to exhibit were the responsibility of protecting environment lays down.

If the industry hadn't grown so fast there wouldn't have been any concern about the natural world. In order to find out the solution, the reasons of the problem have been probed and the human being was found as the main victim!When We cut down the trees to make products, the event called deforestation will occur and since the trees protect the soil beneath them and inhibit the growth of algae, destroying the soil, will damage the habitat.The other way that people affect the environment depends on the gas which is emitted from the factories and cars.Since these activities lead to making money, governments should interfere to stop such activity by making prohibiting laws.
Otherwise, what happens if the government doesn't do its duty very well.What can each of people do individually?It is believed that if any body takes care about what he/she does, the world is getting better.At least we can decrease the speed of world's destruction.For example, we can use fewer products that are made from wood.less air, and water pollution are the other affairs, the citizen should keep in mind to guarantee the healthy life.

In conclusion, it is clear that both government and people are responsible for the natural world.I wish human being had noticed the importance of safety of natural world so we haven't had any problem with the world.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to [STRIKE]be[/STRIKE] solve,

while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments [STRIKE]make[/STRIKE] take some action.
The highlighted part is not in contrast to the first part! Where did you get that essay prompt? Was that the full prompt?
 

aspnet_22

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
Thank you.I agree with you.I got the question from the net and I didn't pay attention to this mistake.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Thank you. I agree with you. I got the question from the net and I didn't [STRIKE]pay attention to[/STRIKE] notice this mistake.

See above. It's important to put a space after every full stop. Also, you should say that you didn't "notice" (see/spot) the mistake. If you say that you didn't pay attention to it, it means you noticed it and then ignored it.
 

aspnet_22

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
I would be grateful if someone would correct my essay. Thanks in advance.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
You haven't responded to teechar's point about the lack of contrast yet. See post #2 again.
 

aspnet_22

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
I thought I had responded it. Please tell me more explanation. What does the teacher actually mean?
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
What was the full question? What did it ask?
 

aspnet_22

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
http://www.ielts-mentor.com/writing...lems-are-too-big-for-individuals-to-be-solved
Thank you. The full question I picked up from the above link is:
[h=3]Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action.[/h]Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
I've had a look at some of their other prompts and found the same problem. :-?
I don't think much of that site, I'm afraid.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top