I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

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emsr2d2

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When I watched [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] the documentary, [STRIKE]on him[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]then[/STRIKE] I [STRIKE]came to know[/STRIKE] understood why. [STRIKE]had he done that.[/STRIKE]

OK, so we are on to your next sentence.

You didn't need to say "this documentary on him". You established in the first sentence that you were talking about a documentary about a specific person. We know what documentary you were watching.
"Understand" is simpler and more natural than "come to know".
You can't say "why he had done that" when you have just said that he specifically didn't​ do something (in this case, he didn't get married).
 

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OK, so we are on to your next sentence.

You didn't need to say "this documentary on him". You established in the first sentence that you were talking about a documentary about a specific person. We know what documentary you were watching.
"Understand" is simpler and more natural than "come to know".
You can't say "why he had done that" when you have just said that he specifically didn't​ do something (in this case, he didn't get married).

Okay, "When I watched the documentary, I understood why."
 

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OK, so we are on to your next sentence.

You didn't need to say "this documentary on him". You established in the first sentence that you were talking about a documentary about a specific person. We know what documentary you were watching.
"Understand" is simpler and more natural than "come to know".
You can't say "why he had done that" when you have just said that he specifically didn't​ do something (in this case, he didn't get married).

Are these sentences correct? "It is said that in his entire family no male lived past the age of 50. There was one more interesting thing that whenever a boy reached at the age of ten his father died the same year (in his family). This had been happening for a long time and this kept him from marrying anyone. I don't know whether it was a curse or what."
 

emsr2d2

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"It is said that in his entire family no male lived past the age of 50."

By "It is said that", did you mean that the documentary provided that information? If so, it's the wrong phrase. "It is said that" means "Some/many/most people assert that". You don't attach it to a statement of fact. If it's true that no men in his family had ever lived beyond 50, then you don't need to add anything extra at the start. Just say "In his entire family, no male had lived past the age of 50".
 

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By "It is said that", did you mean that the documentary provided that information? If so, it's the wrong phrase. "It is said that" means "Some/many/most people assert that". You don't attach it to a statement of fact. If it's true that no men in his family had ever lived beyond 50, then you don't need to add anything extra at the start. Just say "In his entire family, no male had lived past the age of 50".



"It is said that in his entire family no male had lived past the age of 50. There was one more interesting thing that whenever a boy reached at the age of ten his father died the same year (in his family). This had been happening for a long time and this kept him from marrying anyone. I don't know whether it was a curse or what."
 

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By "It is said that", did you mean that the documentary provided that information? If so, it's the wrong phrase. "It is said that" means "Some/many/most people assert that". You don't attach it to a statement of fact. If it's true that no men in his family had ever lived beyond 50, then you don't need to add anything extra at the start. Just say "In his entire family, no male had lived past the age of 50".

Yes, by "it is said that" I meant people say this.
 

emsr2d2

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Did the documentary narrator say something like "It is said that no man in his family lived beyond the age of 50"? Or did the documentary narrator say "No man in his family lived beyond the age of 50"?
 
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did the documentary narrator say "No man in his family lived beyond the age of 50"?

Yes, narrator did. People say this as well.
 
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emsr2d2

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Let's forget what "people say". You are writing about what you learnt from the documentary. You can simply say "No man in his entire family has ever lived past the age of 50."

Let's move on to the next sentence. You wrote "There was one more interesting thing that whenever a boy reached at the age of ten his father died the same year (in his family)."
The beginning and end are too wordy. "There was one more interesting thing that ..." is not grammatical anyway.

I would write "Also, interestingly, all male children lost their father during the year of their tenth birthday."
 

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Let's forget what "people say". You are writing about what you learnt from the documentary. You can simply say "No man in his entire family has ever lived past the age of 50."

Let's move on to the next sentence. You wrote "There was one more interesting thing that whenever a boy reached at the age of ten his father died the same year (in his family)."
The beginning and end are too wordy. "There was one more interesting thing that ..." is not grammatical anyway.

I would write "Also, interestingly, all male children lost their father during the year of their tenth birthday."

"Also, interestingly, all male children lost their father (should it be 'father' or 'fathers' or both are correct?) during the year of their tenth birthday."
 

emsr2d2

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I used "father" so that no one could be confused into thinking that each child had more than one father. However, you will see "fathers" used in this construction too.
 

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I used "father" so that no one could be confused into thinking that each child had more than one father. However, you will see "fathers" used in this construction too.

Okay, got it.
 

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I used "father" so that no one could be confused into thinking that each child had more than one father. However, you will see "fathers" used in this construction too.

"This had been happening for a long time and this kept him from marrying anyone. I don't know whether it was a curse or what." How about these two sentences?
 

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"This had been happening for a long time and this kept him from marrying anyone. I don't know whether it was a curse or what." How about these two sentences?

You have already expressed the idea that early death and a father's death coinciding with the year of his son's tenth birthday throughout the history of his family (you used "his entire family") so saying "This had been happening for a long time" is redundant. You can delete that completely and delete the word "and".

The history did not actually keep him (prevent him) from getting married. He allowed the history to deter him from marrying. However, there is a lack of logic here. It does not say that all the men in the family were married. It could be that the single men died before the age of 50 too, so it would be perfectly reasonable for him to assume that he would die before the age of 50 whether he marries or not. If it's only the married male ancestors who died at an early age, you need to make that clear earlier in the piece. I don't see why he would deny himself the happiness of getting married just because he thinks he'll die before he's 50. The history of the son's tenth birthday coinciding with the death of the father is also irrelevant really. He could get married but not have children, thus avoiding the risk of it happening to his son. However, the documentary clearly suggested that he allowed these things to colour his view on marriage.

So here's what I'd write: "This put him off marrying. The history of the deaths of the men in his family is very curious/mysterious - maybe it's a curse!"

Don't use "I don't know if it's a curse or what" - using "or what" at the end of a sentence is very casual/informal/colloquial.
 

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I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at the early age of 47. He hadn't married although he wanted to. He led a secluded life. When I watched the documentary, I understood why. Also interestingly, all male children lost their father during the year of their tenth birthday. This put him off marrying. The history of death of the men in his family is very mysterious maybe it is a curse.
 

emsr2d2

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I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in the 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at the early age of 47. He hadn't married although he wanted to. He led a secluded life. When I watched the documentary, I understood why. Also interestingly, all male children lost their father during the year of their tenth birthday. This put him off marrying. The history of death of the men in his family is very mysterious - maybe it is a curse.

The sentences (with those couple of corrections) are now grammatically correct. However, you have completely omitted the part about all men in his family dying before the age of 50! That was the main reason for his not marrying. You need to put it back in.
 

tufguy

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The sentences (with those couple of corrections) are now grammatically correct. However, you have completely omitted the part about all men in his family dying before the age of 50! That was the main reason for his not marrying. You need to put it back in.

I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in the 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at the early age of 47. He hadn't married although he wanted to. He led a secluded life. When I watched the documentary, I understood why. No man in his entire family has ever lived past the age of 50. Also interestingly, all male children lost their father during the year of their tenth birthday. This put him off marrying. The history of death of the men in his family is very mysterious - maybe it is a curse.
 

emsr2d2

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That is much better than the original. Do you agree?
 

emsr2d2

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That's great. It only took four pages of posts. Feel free to thank me now.
 
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