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    #1

    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very very good actor. But he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47. He hadn't married anyone although he wanted to. He lead a secluded life. When I watched this documentary on him then I came to know why had he done that. It is said that in his entire family no male lived past the age of 50. And there was one more interesting thing that whenever a boy reached at the age of ten his father died the same year (in his family). This had been happening for a long time and this kept him from marrying anyone. Don't know it was a curse or what.

    Please check my sentences.

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    #2

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by tufguy View Post
    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very very good actor. But he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47.
    You are still splitting sentences in the wrong place. All the information above should be made into two sentences. Why don't you try to rewrite just that part first?

    (Another hint: You have missed one article completely and you have used an indefinite article where you should have used the definite article.)
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    You are still splitting sentences in the wrong place. All the information above should be made into two sentences. Why don't you try to rewrite just that part first?

    (Another hint: You have missed one article completely and you have used an indefinite article where you should have used the definite article.)
    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 30-Aug-2017 at 07:12. Reason: Removed rest of paragraph. I asked you specifically onto to try and rewrite the first part for now.

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    #4

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by tufguy View Post
    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in ​the 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at an the early age of 47. He died at an age of 47.
    See above.

    You're not concentrating again, tufguy. I told you that the part I quoted should be condensed into two sentences. You posted three sentences. I also suggested that you just rewrite that part so we could work on it yet you posted the entire paragraph again. I have deleted the rest of it in post #3. We are not going to move on to the rest of your paragraph until the two sentences in this post have been dealt with and you understand the corrections.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above.

    You're not concentrating again, tufguy. I told you that the part I quoted should be condensed into two sentences. You posted three sentences. I also suggested that you just rewrite that part so we could work on it yet you posted the entire paragraph again. I have deleted the rest of it in post #3. We are not going to move on to the rest of your paragraph until the two sentences in this post have been dealt with and you understand the corrections.
    I thought you were talking about the first two sentences.

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    #6

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by tufguy View Post
    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very very good actor. But he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47.
    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in ​the 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at anthe early age of 47. He died at an age of 47.

    You're not concentrating again, tufguy. I told you that the part I quoted should be condensed into two sentences. You posted three sentences. I also suggested that you just rewrite that part so we could work on it yet you posted the entire paragraph again. I have deleted the rest of it in post #3. We are not going to move on to the rest of your paragraph until the two sentences in this post have been dealt with and you understand the corrections.
    Please re-read the very last sentence of the second quote box above. I clearly told you that we would not move on to the rest of your post until the first few sentences had been thoroughly dealt with and we are sure you understand the corrections. You have made no indication that you understand why I made the corrections I did, yet you posted the rest of your paragraph (which I have deleted)!

    So, please tell us why you think I turned "I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very very good actor. But he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47" into "I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in ​the 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at anthe early age of 47. He died at an age of 47."
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #7

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Please re-read the very last sentence of the second quote box above. I clearly told you that we would not move on to the rest of your post until the first few sentences had been thoroughly dealt with and we are sure you understand the corrections. You have made no indication that you understand why I made the corrections I did, yet you posted the rest of your paragraph (which I have deleted)!

    So, please tell us why you think I turned "I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very very good actor. But he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47" into "I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in ​the 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at anthe early age of 47. He died at an age of 47."
    Yes, I got your corrections that is why I tried amending other sentences. There were five short sentences and you merged them in two sentences.

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    #8

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by tufguy View Post
    I watched a documentary on an Indian actor who was active in 60's and 70's. He was a very good actor but he died at an early age. He died at an age of 47.
    You should combine the second and third sentences into a single sentence. Review the bit in post #2 where ems discusses articles.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #9

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by tufguy View Post
    Yes, I got your corrections that is why I tried amending other sentences. There were five short sentences and you merged them in two sentences.
    I didn't ask you whether you got them. I asked you to tell us why you think I made those changes. I want you to show us that you actually understand why my version is better than yours.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #10

    Re: I watched a documentary on an Indian actor. Who was active in 60's and 70's.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I didn't ask you whether you got them. I asked you to tell us why you think I made those changes. I want you to show us that you actually understand why my version is better than yours.
    Your version has lesser words. You removed the redundant words.
    Last edited by tufguy; 01-Sep-2017 at 19:54.

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