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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    When everyone was asleep

    I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

    When everyone was asleep, Peter went to kitchen, opened the fridge and gorged himself on everything he could find inside, from burgers, cheese to ice cream.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    Problem: ice cream isn't kept in a fridge. It's kept in a freezer!

    Usually "from ... to" connects just two things so I'd remove cheese from the equation and change ice cream to a different food that you would find in a fridge. I would also probably add the definite article before each food because you're being specific about the foods that were in the fridge.

    With "When everyone was asleep", did you mean "Once he was sure everyone was asleep" or "While everyone was sleeping"?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    I meant "while everyone was sleeping."
    So I should actually start my sentence like this:

    While everyone was sleeping, Peter went to kitchen.."

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I meant "while everyone was sleeping."
    So I should actually start my sentence like this:

    While everyone was sleeping, Peter went to the kitchen (space before an ellipsis) ... (three dots in an ellipsis)"
    Yes, or "While everyone was asleep, ..."
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    I will rephrase my sentence like this:

    While everyone was sleeping, Peter went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and gorged himself on everything he found inside: sausages, burgers, cheese and boiled eggs.

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    As long as that was absolutely everything in the fridge, it's fine. If he left anything behind, then you can't use "everything".

    Also, boiled eggs aren't usually kept in the fridge either. Hard-boiled eggs are. Boiled eggs are cooked until the white is set but the yolk is still runny and are generally eaten straight away while they're hot. Hard-boiled eggs are cooked until the yolk is set too and they can either be eaten straight away or stored in the fridge, in their shells, to be eaten later.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. #7
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    emsr2d2,

    Thank you again. I believed that boiled eggs and hard-boiled eggs mean the same in English. I made this mistake because when I wrote the sentence I thought in my own language. We use just "boiled eggs" which can mean hard-boiled and boiled eggs. I have to train my mind to think in English when I write English sentences if I want to write correct English.

  8. #8
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    Do you need himself after gorged?

  9. #9
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    I think I don't need it.

  10. #10
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: When everyone was asleep

    It is certainly optional. I left it there because it's what I would say.

    I am so full. I absolutely gorged myself on pizza earlier. I can barely move.
    My friend and I just got back from a food festival. We gorged ourselves on free bread, cheese and prosecco. I think I might explode!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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